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The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Olabisi Johnson points downfield after making a reception against CU during the Rocky Mountain Showdown. (Forrest Czarnecki | Collegian)

Seriously: Rocky Mountain Showdown to be renamed

Ethan Vassar • August 28, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Ram Welcome Leader Sam Hugues waiting for his students from Westfall Hall to join the group for a walk around campus on Sunday.

Seriously: Freshman matches with Ram Welcome leader on Tinder, awkwardness ensues

Ethan Vassar • August 25, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Allison Hall is the oldest dorm building on campus. Spoons is located in the main lobby.

Seriously: Student breaks into dorms after parents develop empty nest syndrome

Abby Vander • August 19, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Seriously: Student returns to Fort Collins with renewed hatred toward city, CSU

Seriously: Student returns to Fort Collins with renewed hatred toward city, CSU

Ethan Vassar • August 11, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Students scream and cheat for Nico and Vinz at the Ramfest 2014 Homecoming Concert in Moby Arena on Friday night.

Seriously: Jonas Brothers will perform at RamFest 2019

Kenia Ortiz • August 7, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. This...

Seriously: Thief steals student's identity, donates out of pity

Seriously: Thief steals student’s identity, donates out of pity

Abby Vander • July 9, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Cars are parked at the B.W. Pickett arena at CSU's Foothills Campus on Nov. 6, 2018. Colorado State University is considering implementing parking permits for the Foothills Campus starting in the fall of 2019, but there has been some pushback to the measure, including a petition against the proposed permit system.(Forrest Czarnecki | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU Health Center advises against car sex

Ethan Vassar • July 1, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Seriously: CSU Health Center to provide free bulletproof vests next semester

Seriously: CSU Health Center to provide free bulletproof vests next semester

Abby Vander • June 19, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Yesterday,...

Seriously: Alabama abortion ban puts storks out of job

Seriously: Alabama abortion ban puts storks out of job

Ethan Vassar • June 17, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

SERIOUSLY: CSU recommends treating finals stress with memes, THC dependency

SERIOUSLY: CSU recommends treating finals stress with memes, THC dependency

Marshall Dunham • May 7, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. With...

Thousands of CSU students begin their loop around campus during the annual Undie Run before returning back to the Rec Center. (Davis Bonner | Collegian)

Seriously: Undie Run cancellation threatens CSU admission rates, sponsors

Ethan Vassar • May 6, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

Miah Lingelbach and Cassie Brown enjoy an afternoon at Horsetooth Reservoir hammocking before the brisk fall weather starts to settle in. They take any chance they can get to get away from the chaos of school to relax in the warm Colorado sun. (Joe Oakman | Collegian)

Seriously: Top 5 whitest things to do in Fort Collins

Ethan Vassar • May 5, 2019

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being...

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