Look, let’s be real — life is hard. Student loans? Sky-high. Job market? Bleak. The constant existential dread of figuring out what you’re doing with your life? Ever-present. We are certainly not...
Catholic Abortion and Cosmic Misfortune
• April 1, 2025
Editor's Note: This is a satire for April Fools' Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor's notes are subject to...
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Catholic Abortion, Collegina’s Anton Ego
• April 1, 2025
Editor's Note: this is a satire for April Fools' Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor's notes are subject to...
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Detectivo Liberal, Onomatology Detective
• April 1, 2025
The challenge of figuring out what to name your child in our current political environment is a tough feat. But no matter the challenge, there is always going to be an opportunity for you to name your child after the over 90 executive orders that President Donald Trump has signed so far this year. Here are some of the top picks that should really tickle your fancy.
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Astronomically Stressed, Headache in Chief
• April 1, 2025
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not...
Rizzle Cigcrust, Farts and enter-painment editor
• April 1, 2025
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
LeBron James shocked the world with his recent commitment to Colorado State men's basketball.
Bryce James, who is currently a senior in high school, recently announced his intent to play for the Rams....
A secret cloning facility underneath Colorado State University’s Chemistry Research Building was discovered by university staff March 31. With it, evidence of an experiment on Associated Students of...
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