Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Academic Proulxbation and Gennevieve Dressmann
• April 1, 2024
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Honoria Publicae, Reigning Expert on Honorable Politics
• April 1, 2024
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Like, for real, start studying “Back to the Future” right now. These word names are no joke. When you’re done reading this list, you will want to tear up your own birth certificate, so be sure to make a few copies, and have your friends hide them from you before you proceed.
Advil Seeker, Swiftie Correspondant
• April 1, 2024
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Iguana Secret, Expert Girlboss Blondie Hater
• April 1, 2024
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Brandy Alexander, Lowkey Bondi Enjoyer
• April 1, 2024
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Ezekiel SoundCloud, Collegian Columnist
• April 1, 2024
Beelzebub Christensen doesn’t follow God anymore — he claims his new Bible is Eminem’s "Lose Yourself." Christensen’s job as a campus preacher came to an abrupt end last Tuesday. After 15 years of recruiting Colorado State University students who exclusively wear suits and lost high schoolers on tours to join the Fort Collins Evangelist Church, Christensen had a different religious awakening.
Congratulations! You have signed your enrollment papers with Colorado State University and are ready for the next step: the insertion of a tracker into your neck. It's the perfect way for your new home to keep tabs on where you are at all times and help your instructors know if you really skipped their class because you had a doctor’s appointment or if you just slept in.
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...
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