April Fools' Day Archives - The Rocky Mountain Collegian

April Fools’: 5 incontrovertible reasons why you should immediately abandon your family, career and personal autonomy to join a cult today!

Hanky Panky, Master Instigator • April 1, 2025

Look, let’s be real — life is hard. Student loans? Sky-high. Job market? Bleak. The constant existential dread of figuring out what you’re doing with your life? Ever-present. We are certainly not...

April Fools’: How many bitches could a CSU major pull if majors pulled bitches?

Catholic Abortion and Cosmic Misfortune • April 1, 2025

Editor's Note: This is a satire for April Fools' Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor's notes are subject to...

April Fools’: Elon Musk buys NIL rights of CSU student-athletes, effective immediately

Sparkling Whimsy, Sports Editor • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools’: Student expelled after RA discovers kidnapped pet Grubhub robot in dorm

Catholic Abortion, Collegina’s Anton Ego • April 1, 2025

Editor's Note: this is a satire for April Fools' Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor's notes are subject to...

April Fools’: CAM the Ram diverts 2024 YR4 asteroid, avoiding Fort Collins collision

Kat Fish • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools’: 5 baby names that may really lean into your executive order preferences

Detectivo Liberal, Onomatology Detective • April 1, 2025

The challenge of figuring out what to name your child in our current political environment is a tough feat. But no matter the challenge, there is always going to be an opportunity for you to name your child after the over 90 executive orders that President Donald Trump has signed so far this year. Here are some of the top picks that should really tickle your fancy.

April Fools’: The Collegina chosen to replace AP in White House press corps, coverage changes promised

Ham Slutton, Nonsense Senator • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools’: ASCSU implements RamJail as new principle of community

Autism Memory, Nonsense Senator • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools’: CSU condones dueling on campus to settle student disputes

Astronomically Stressed, Headache in Chief • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not...

April Fools’: CSU prepares to say goodbye to Amy Parsons, hello to Slim Blondee

Rizzle Cigcrust, Farts and enter-painment editor • April 1, 2025

Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject...

April Fools’: LeBron James joins CSU men’s basketball

Mark Fischer, Staff Reporter • April 1, 2025

LeBron James shocked the world with his recent commitment to Colorado State men's basketball. Bryce James, who is currently a senior in high school, recently announced his intent to play for the Rams....

April Fools’: Nick DeSalvo cloning scandal unearthed in chem research building

Cosmic Misfortune, Photo Director • April 1, 2025

A secret cloning facility underneath Colorado State University’s Chemistry Research Building was discovered by university staff March 31. With it, evidence of an experiment on Associated Students of...