Seriously: Ramskellar to host sweet smoking sesh

CJ Ash

Colorado is famous for being the first state to legalize marijuana. This year, students can celebrate the marijuana-themed holiday, April 20, on campus.

Ramskellar is set to host their own 4/20 event: “Ramskellar gets Ramstellar, dude… let’s get high.” For the very first time, students have an open space to fill the room with bud smoke, alien theories and stories of things they invented way before they actually came out. 

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Stemming from a police code for “Marijuana Smoking in Progress”, 4/20 is holiday widely celebrated by marijuana users. According to sources, there is no better time to spark one up and stick it to the man then on the national holiday for rollin’ doobies.

There will be group activities such as “look at all this cool stuff you can do with hemp” and “let’s make snacks, I think cereal on pizza might be good.” Each group will be assigned their own stenographer, who will record all of the brilliant ideas that will soon be forgotten. 

The highlight of the event will be a “Before and After Comedy Special.” Four comedians will each perform a stand-up act at the beginning of the evening and then do the exact same performance over again. The Skellar expects the audience to find the jokes even funnier the second time they hear them.

So bring your bongs, bring your blunts and Ramskellar will bring the beers. You can get high on your own supply, or buy it at a store, you can do that here. 

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from the Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended.