Seriously: Elon Musk gets accepted into CSU

Ty Betts

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

The CEO of Tesla, Space-X, and pioneer of PayPal, finally received an answer from Colorado State University admissions; Elon Musk is all set to attend CSU in the fall of 2018.

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Billionaire entrepreneur and engineer Elon Musk has decided to take a few years off from his business and scientific endeavors to expand his education with a bachelor’s degree from CSU.

Elon Musk celebrates after receiving his acceptance letter to Colorado State University. (Photo courtesy of SpaceX)

“I wanted to go back to school for a couple reasons,” Musk said. “Part of it is definitely to build my résumé, but it’s also to get a taste of the college experience that I didn’t fully appreciate during my time at the University of Pennsylvania.”

Musk is entering as an undeclared student but said he is leaning towards the College of Liberal Arts. Musk also said that despite his age difference to most of the student body, he still plans to be heavily involved.

“I might join a frat,” Musk said. “I think I’ll have to if I want to get into any parties.”

Although Musk said it has always been his dream to come to CSU, he has showed some frustrations with the acceptance process.

“They put me in Ingersoll Hall,” Musk said. “I’d rather live in my car.”

Additional complications include Musk being placed in an introductory PACe math course. Musk neglected to take the placement exam by the deadline and is now unable to test out of the 100-level math prerequisites.

As Musk plans for the coming semester, he is eagerly looking for a suitable roommate.

“Preferably someone who’s 4/20 friendly,” Musk said. “I’m also not a neat freak but it would be nice to keep the room somewhat clean.”

Satire writer Ty Betts can be reached at letters@collegian.com or online @tybetts9.

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