Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
Happy Halloween. I hope your pantry is stocked with a variety of fun-sized candy bars to give to trick-or-treaters. I hope that variety is good because not everything handed out on Halloween night is particularly good. There are some sweets that children will fight over, and there are some sweets that will sit in the bottom of the bag until they get gross. Do not be the house that gives out gross candy. Do not be the house that kids avoid.
Halloween is a special night for many children: It is the only day out of the year when kids get to go nuts. They eat more sugar than almost any other point in the year, save for maybe birthdays. Halloween is not supposed to be healthy. Candy is not supposed to be healthy. Do not give children something that will not get eaten.
“Random strangers do not need to be at the center of your weird feelings about sugar. Keep your diet out of my Halloween candy.”
Halloween is not the time for salty snacks. No child knocks on a door and goes, “Oh boy, I hope I get pretzels!” The only decent salty thing to hand out is cheese balls. If you’re going to make popcorn balls, at least make them out of caramel corn. But honestly, I would just skip on savory. People go trick-or-treating for sweet things, not salty ones.
There’s also a few types of candy that no one wants to see in their basket — Hershey’s Kisses, Hershey’s Nuggets and Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, just to name a few. There are better versions of these candies. There are also better chocolates out there than hunks of subpar milk chocolate that occasionally have almonds. And regular Sour Patch Kids are so much better than the watermelon versions.
However, the most criminal thing to hand out on Halloween night are healthy treats: raisins, apple slices and bagged carrot sticks. Many children get this one night of candy binging before going back to restricted access. If you don’t want to hand out sugar, get a turquoise pumpkin and hand out trinkets. That will still set you apart from the other houses and keep sugar out of your home. Random strangers do not need to be at the center of your weird feelings about sugar. Keep your diet out of my Halloween candy.
If you give kids something they’ll presumably not eat on Halloween night, like healthy snacks, it will just get thrown out and wasted. Children deserve to have this one fun night where they can dress up and go out with their friends, eating untold amounts of candy — especially young children, who aren’t able to get candy from their kitchen cabinet without parental permission.
Stick to the basics this Halloween. Go to the drugstore and get a bag of candy, one that has your favorite, and share the joy you feel. If you want to stand out from your neighbors, get full-sized candy. But please, whatever you do, make sure that you get candy and that it is good candy.
Reach Audrey Weishaar at letters@collegian.com or on social media @RMCollegian.
