Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
Comment sections play a much larger role in the enjoyment of social media platforms than one might expect. The second it’s no longer available, the entire experience feels immediately diminished, despite the fact that it’s a relatively small feature. It’s also something you barely notice until it’s no longer available, similar to how resounding silence tends to feel much louder than whatever sound was previously audible in the background.
Though potentially frustrating in the context of a restricted comment section, this lack of noise pollution from the opinions of others provides a unique opportunity, as it allows for the space to create and explore your own viewpoint.
Of course, comparing and contrasting ourselves to others is an important aspect of defining and understanding the self. A key part of who we are comes from what we know we are not. However, in a world that is becoming increasingly loud, it is just as important to find the time to listen to yourself. This isn’t only true in the context of digital spaces. In fact, it might even be more applicable in the realm of real life.
There’s a gravitation toward doing activities as a group, as the same outing completed solo is often deemed an inferior experience. In some cases, destinations are simply designed to be more enjoyable in numbers. Other times, this detraction comes more from a place of insecurity.
There’s undoubtedly a stigma to doing things alone, regardless of whether it is intentional, and this can make traversing public spaces feel awkward without another person. There is something to be said about the results of breaking through this boundary and setting aside the time to take yourself on a date, though. The benefits gained from it may be different than those of a mutual excursion, but they are no less valuable. In fact, it could be argued that they are even more valuable.
A self-date is different than the idea of staying in for the night in the name of self-care or going to run errands. No different from a regular date, it involves planning and executing a desirable outing — the only real deviance is that you do it on your own. It might not sound appealing at first; however, it leaves important space to hear yourself think, much like the aforementioned lack of a comment section does. The intention of a self-date fundamentally mirrors that of a regular one — being all about dedicating time to the art of understanding. In this instance, though, the point is to spend time getting to know yourself.
Being alone with nothing but your own thoughts perhaps sounds agonizing, but unlike nightly doom spirals, the intention is not to reflect on what went wrong several years prior. Quite the opposite, the goal is to work on constructing or comprehending something new. Interacting with the world affords people the room to be influenced by experiences and process the feelings inspired by this exposure, allowing for better articulation of the self.
Getting to know new people shows there is always something more to be learned about others — a fresh layer or unexplored depth. It would be senseless to deny that this is also true about yourself. It can be difficult to recognize the way we evolve over time because, despite the fact that we are continuously and rapidly changing, the individual impact of these adjustments on the self as a whole is often rather small. Accordingly, it often feels like we are already aware of everything there is to know about ourselves. Self-dates provide the opportunity to explore changes we may not be aware of yet and fully catalog their effects.
It is worth it to wonder why you feel a certain way or what it is that constitutes your reactions, but these thoughts often don’t have room to fully unfold in daily life. By creating the space to follow this line of reasoning, taking yourself on a date allows for better self-expression and a deeper connection to other aspects of one’s personal life.
Reach Hayley Bisant at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @CSUCollegian.
