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The product of my New Year’s resolutions — and likely yours — is a girl I do not recognize. She is ambitious in the same way I was Dec. 31, with a laundry list of goals and affirmations, but she does not carry the laziness and doubt that prevented 2024 me from completing them. She listens before she speaks; she does weight training and cardio; she holds the door open for everyone, even men in poly sci; and bakes pies between classes on her lunch break.

She sounds delightful, but she isn’t real. At least, not in this year or in this time frame. I wanted to become her so badly, but my goals were no more realistic than Icarus.

Maybe you’re like me and this story sounds familiar to you. It’s a pretty popular one, but only about 25% of people commit to their New Year’s resolutions for longer than a month.

“So you’re not weak, lazy, stupid, unmotivated or whatever your go-to insult is when you fail. You simply aren’t being patient enough with yourself when setting goals. It’s not too late to reevaluate what you want and how you will achieve it.”

For most Americans, self-improvement sounds great in theory but stings in practice. This collective inability to accomplish our resolutions fuels embarrassment and a Debbie Downer, woe is me attitude. 

But guess what? You don’t have to hate yourself — you just need to learn how to set attainable goals.

It becomes increasingly clear to me that some people were never forced to make SMART goals as a kid in middle school. Not to say that you can’t succeed without goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely, but you’re much more likely to give up without a distinct, exact plan, and that’s the purpose of SMART goals.

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, people think that a “new year, new me” mindset will be enough motivation to change their lifestyle habits in huge ways. While improvement can be made, faith, trust and a little pixie dust will not grow your glutes tenfold in two months. 

People always jump to the result they want when making resolutions, whether it’s saving money, building a body or improving a lifestyle, but that’s an almost guaranteed way to abandon a goal. Rather than changing habits at an attainable rate, people expect to go from zero to 100 without experiencing any burnout. This is close to impossible, especially for 12 months straight.

So you’re not weak, lazy, stupid, unmotivated or whatever your go-to insult is when you fail. You simply aren’t being patient enough with yourself when setting goals. It’s not too late to reevaluate what you want and how you will achieve it.

And besides, our growth doesn’t always appear in tangible or measurable ways. You’re likely a different person than you were 10 or 15 years ago, and that change happened gradually along the way. I bet you don’t remember how many calories you ate in a day or what your workout split was back then.

Be patient and kind with yourself because the best changes don’t happen overnight — or, in this case, within the first three weeks of January.

Reach Emma Souza at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @_emmasouza.