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When many of us graduated from high school and made the decision to go away for college, we all likely heard the same phrase thrown at us: “You are going to find newfound independence when you get to school.” To some who heard it, I imagine they thought it meant that they were going to go to all the parties, be curfew free, eat anything and everything that want, maybe not clean their room and maybe not even go to class every day. And they may not be wrong.

There’s no doubt that plenty of students were raised by overbearing parents who made every decision for their children and intervened when even the tiniest problem arose at school, with friends, in sports and more. They essentially prevented any sort of failure they could encounter.

At the other end of the parenting-style spectrum, some were raised by what’s commonly now known as tiger parents. These are the parents who, as characterized by Amy Chua in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” believe that children who are raised with very strict rules, an extreme focus on achieving high grades and high expectations for getting into the best colleges are more prepared for success and adulthood. In this case, failure is not necessarily prevented because it’s not even an option.

“And finally, it’s about allowing myself to fail and, more so, fail forward. It’s knowing that it’s sometimes OK to make mistakes or take risks and learning from these decisions in order to make better, more informed decisions in the future.”

Then there are those who, like myself, grew up somewhere in the middle. Strict rules were not imposed, and there may have been more realistic ideas of what being a typical teenager means. This meant plenty of conversations about trust, being responsible and making good decisions.

Interventions with friends, other parents, teachers or bosses when problems arose were kept to a minimum. We weren’t just taught independence but also accountability. Good grades were expected, but the notion that college is a privilege and not a right and that not getting good grades would impact where and if we went to college was explained more than once.

We were encouraged to find jobs on our own and make our own money. We weren’t forced into any extracurriculars but still encouraged to stay active and explore our passions. We did not have limits on television or social media, although my mother has admitted she wished she had been a bit more tiger about that.

All of this is to say that many of us who lived with the in-between parents were raised to be rather independent, but for me, it wasn’t until my parents left for the airport ugly crying that I fully grasped what newfound independence means.

It’s not just deciding how late to stay out, how to balance my diet, how to spend money — both earned and allowanced — or whether to do laundry or just wear those sweatpants just one more day. I realized rather quickly that it’s about navigating new relationships.

It’s learning how to share a small living space with a total stranger and resolve conflicts when they arise. It’s figuring out how to make friends when you don’t know a soul and allowing yourself the freedom to be different or try something outside of your comfort zone to make new connections.

It’s also about learning to be OK with being alone at times but knowing that my parents are still just a phone call away. Ironically, my newfound independence may have made them more codependent. It’s about managing my health — both physical and mental — and staying on top of routines that were once more closely managed by my parents and knowing myself enough to know when to seek additional help.

And finally, it’s about allowing myself to fail and, more so, fail forward. It’s knowing that it’s sometimes OK to make mistakes or take risks and learning from these decisions in order to make better, more informed decisions in the future.

The anticipation of leaving for college is a combination of excitement and hesitation. We all know that there will be newfound independence, and the rebellion that comes with it that can be liberating. But if we also know that achieving independence is not an overnight process but one that involves self-management, self-love and forgiveness, self-awareness and accountability, then maybe it won’t feel like a punch in the face.

Reach Ava Naiditch at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @CSUCollegian.