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The Rocky Mountain Collegian

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Six things every college student deserves

Quinn ScahillEnduring the rigors of academia and life in general can sometimes be quite defeating for us college students. Our quality of life can change drastically from week to week.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Things can change.

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Below is a list of things, in no particular order, which I have found to significantly improve my quality of life. Individually they might appear arbitrary, but when combined, they’ll leave you wondering how life ever got so good.

So forget about your wants and needs — these are the things that you deserve in your life.

  1. (Loud) speakers: If your sound system isn’t loud enough to get the cops called on you for a noise complaint, then it isn’t adequate. While you probably shouldn’t play your music that loud anyway, it should be the standard for every set of speakers. However, if you do feel the need to crank up those decibels, at least play some decent tunes. I’m assuming more people get reported for bad music, so don’t go blasting Creed or Hoobastank, because you definitely don’t deserve that.
  2. A grill: Whether you’re into eating animal flesh or not, people have been standing around large, hot cooking pits and socializing for thousands of years. A fire pit also works in place of a grill, but both function as a pivotal gathering place. You, just like your ancestors, deserve to huddle around hot things, cook food and chat.
  3. A nice pair of ‘jorts’: If you take the most practical item of clothing in the world (jeans), and cut the legs off, then you have jorts. I’m a huge believer in the power of denim, and jorts can allow you to do pretty much anything. You can climb a mountain, and you can also tear up the dance floor. Jorts are a staple for those seeking to live life to the fullest.
  4. An auxiliary refrigerator: This stows all of your favorite beverages that would just be taking up space in your “real” refrigerator. This secondary beverage receptacle doesn’t have to be fancy. It just needs to keep your beer, wine and liquor cold. There is nothing more disastrous than downing room-temperature beverages when you’re just trying to unwind, because you totally deserve cold drinks.
  5. Free transportation: Lucky for us, we have Ramride and free bus passes with our student ID, but if you’re not into fossil fuels or being chauffeured around, you can always hop on a bike or long board. However, if you want to start building serious street cred, bust out the roller blades, scooter or unicycle. Don’t drive your own car though, because it costs you money and you don’t deserve that.
  6. Affordable, legal housing: This one might seem too obvious, but even with a college education I still cannot understand the general stupidity behind the U+2 law in Fort Collins. We all deserve a place of refuge where we can study, party and live affordably and legally. For the past four years, my rent has steadily increased and my living situations have not become any more lawful. Unfortunately, it’s our own fault as students for not repealing this law.
Quinn Scahill is a senior English major. His columns appear Fridays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.
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