I like big books and I cannot lie: I fancy geek gals with spectacles atop their eyes.

I firmly believe that the nerdy, geeky woman and man have been insufficiently appreciated in the social climate of CSU (and elsewhere).

I refuse to nitpick about precise definitions of “nerd” or “geek.” A more fruitful discussion on this subject can probably be had with relevant linguist geeks and subculture nerds.

But for those who possess a vague idea of the character involved, a reward hopefully awaits.

Think, in this discussion, of a basic image: a lady or gent in modest clothing, sporting glasses, holding a challenging leisure-time book in hand and featuring the hallmark of any worthwhile romantic partnership option: Nerdy Tourette Syndrome.

What, you might ask, is this condition? Nerdy Tourette Syndrome is a semi-cathartic maintenance exercise undergone by a nerd/geek which involves expelling, often unexpectedly, great dollops of knowledge about one or more enrapturing topics. This entire episode is utterly unprovoked by the overwhelmed passerby, but leaves both individuals uniquely nourished.

It can only be described as hypnotizing and absorbing (and by the ungrateful, annoying). Despite the fluctuations and subtleties present in the nerd’s or geek’s appearance or behaviors, the detection of Nerdy Tourette Syndrome ensures the validity of the nerd/geek designation. The resin of heightened mental acuity lurking about after departure from a conversation should indicate that one has been in the sacred presence of a nerd/geek.

Creepily worshipful and cult-like as that clarification may seem, consider the lack of balance in the apparent appreciation of nerd/geek versus various other socially convenient labels. Perhaps creating a balance is a worthy enterprise.

Indeed, alongside two (now anonymous) heroic student authors, I once crafted a majestic manifesto calling for the assembly of nerds worldwide. One explanatory passage in that manifesto is as follows:

The nerd is, by his/her nature, unarguably the most seductive type of being this planet can ever know, even though the masses are evidently unaware of this objective fact, and their minds have been seized by the conspiring anti-geekiness-imposing cultural engineers. Some have begun to wake up, to the world’s benefit, and understand viscerally just how truly enticing the nerd is when in his/her element (passionately ranting about a nerdy topic which most people aren’t interested in).

Isn’t this just a fragment of distasteful propaganda? Maybe it is. But what was it borne of? On my end, it was produced from compensatory grandiosity and a desire to engage in comedic comradeship. What need is there for compensation? Let’s explore further, in relevance to nerdy and/or geeky womenfolk and gents.

Nerdy/geeky women and men seem, to me, criminally underappreciated and widely unrecognized. Too often I encounter the depressing offhand remarks of some peers. They’ve inspired this writing. The unwarranted dominion of physical vanity over qualities like intelligence, or curiosity, or bookishness seems to be leading many a young person in the wrong direction.

Disastrous post-hangover recollections aside, I think the minor trauma people inflict on themselves in being enticed by physical beauty is worth avoiding.

Of course, nerds and geeks aren’t necessarily immune to such pitfalls, but as romantic relationship options, they deserve more consideration than they often get.

Contrary to those romantically malignant trends, Susain Cain’s work exposing the appreciable qualities of introverts-in-their-element seems like a step in the right direction. It’s a great place to start exploring the rewarding vistas of geek-dom and nerd-dom.

Providing that you can forgive my redundancy, and my shallow coverage of this cluster of issues, you may find that your love life improves when you prioritize that thoughtful, bookish, possibly bespectacled knowledge cadet above his/her more physically alluring counterpart.

Naturally, physical attractiveness need not be shunned for well-being’s sake, so begin the hunt for the most alluringly nerdy romantic partner you can find. I have done so, and reap the rewards of this effort everlastingly.