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All hail Hallow’s Eve, let’s get weird

Halloween seems to have a strange power among college students. Most of the time we try to act like adults, but when All Hallow’s Eve comes around, everything that is sensible and decent in our lives is thrown out the window. And I love it.

The debauchery of Halloween is not confined to one single day/night either. It is a carnival of drunken mistakes and hilarity that usually span a whole week or month of October. It’s a test of will, stamina and especially your liver. It’s not always pretty — but it’s always fun.

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When celebrated by college students, Halloween is far different from what it was in grade school. It’s actually kind of funny — when we were kids we all dressed up and got super pumped for Halloween.

Then adolescence kicked in, the awkward age when you couldn’t trick or treat but you also couldn’t go to your older sibling’s Halloween parties. You probably got stuck handing out candy at your door, smirking at kids your age who were still out trick-or-treating.

However, as you crawled out of the confines of adolescence and into early adulthood, you probably found yourself wanting to celebrate Halloween once again. After having watched countless films depicting what goes on at college parties — especially Halloween parties — you probably couldn’t wait to partake. Considering I have experienced All Hallow’s Eve at the collegiate level for three years, I can’t say that Hollywood is too far off.

If you’ve been disappointed by the parties you’ve attended this year, wait no longer. You will probably see some of the strangest things in your collegiate career at Halloween parties. There will be Ramtalks for weeks about what people saw, and everyone will be wishing that Halloween were every weekend — as I often do.

But there are a variety of things that one can partake in besides partying, and one of my favorites is vandalism. I’m not saying anyone should graffiti the plaza ­— but for goodness sake smash a pumpkin or tee-pee the Chemistry Building!

Pumpkin smashing is an essential part to any young hooligan’s Halloween. I don’t really see pumpkin smashing as vandalism either, because they are biodegradable. By smashing that Jack-O-Lantern you’re actually speeding up nature’s process fairly rapidly, and there is nothing more satisfying smashing those squashes.

If you’re more of a litterbug, then you probably enjoy a good ol’ fashioned tee-pee job. This Halloween activity leans more closely to actual vandalism, but as long as you’re tee-pee-ing a friend’s house or other acquaintance it probably shouldn’t matter, just expect payback.

Everyone needs to toss a roll of toilet paper up into a tree at least once in his or her life. It’s so easy, and when you’re done tossing rolls at a house, it always looks oddly beautiful, and it’s a thrifty way to decorate someone’s house for Halloween — just don’t let them catch you doing it.

Once you’ve tee-peed and smashed your pumpkins, you’ve probably built up quite a thirst. This would be when you crack open all of those gorgeous-looking Fall Ales or Pumpkin Lagers that you’ve been waiting for since August.

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They are strong and savory — but you’re not supposed to drink twelve of them. They really come in handy when you are sitting around thinking of what costume to wear, it’s your inspiration in a bottle.

The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said my sister puts more effort into her costumes now than when she was a little girl. It surprised me a little, but it definitely made sense.

Costumes are the most important part about Halloween, so don’t you dare show up to a party without one. Don’t be that random guy that’s “too cool” or “too old” to dress up, because more likely than not that guy is a total douchebag.

Something else about Halloween costumes — especially here in Fort Collins — is that if you want a good one you need to plan ahead of time. Places like Arc thrift or Brand Spanking Used in Old Town sell out of their rentable costumes faster than you would imagine. Otherwise you’re going to have to pick through everyone else’s leftovers or make your own (which is better anyway).

Keep in mind that after Halloween, winter will be at our doorstep — so take advantage of this celebration. It’s about having fun, wearing strange costumes, eating candy, causing mischief and drinking beer. So prepare yourself for these next two weekends, because things are about to get weird.

Quin Scahill is a senior English major. His columns appear Fridays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

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