You’re Supposed To – by Natalie Juteau

You’re Supposed To

by Natalie Juteau

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You’re supposed to be here

You’re supposed to see my dorm room, and hug my beautiful roommate

You’re supposed to hide my Easter basket, and laugh while I search in vain

You’re supposed to say “I miss you. I love you. When are you coming home?”

You’re supposed to drink sweet tea and sit in the sun on the porch

You’re supposed to tell me “Make sure your tank is full.”

You’re supposed to shake my husband’s hand, then hold my first born child

You’re supposed to be here

 

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I wasn’t supposed to buy that black dress or sleep with tissues by my bed

I wasn’t supposed to open that gift and see you smiling back at me from behind the glass

I wasn’t supposed to celebrate the first birthday you never had

I wasn’t supposed to stand beside your grave, or see your name on the stone

I wasn’t supposed to remark “The flowers look beautiful.” as I put them in the ground

I wasn’t supposed to turn my face to hide the tears I cried

Because you’re supposed to be here, Grandpa

You’re supposed to