So Close, Yet So Far Away

When I left for college, I knew I would be missing out on a lot of things: birthdays, holidays, the Bell Game against my rival high school that all of the alumni go back for, and so much more. I never realized how hard it would be though. I didn’t realize that I would be that disappointed that I would be missing the big rival game. I didn’t realize that I would be missing out on seeing my brother in his middle school and high school years. Or that I would miss helping my cousin, who’s like a little sister to me, with her college applications and essays. I never thought I would be walking around Target and thinking that this thing or that thing would be a good birthday present for my cousin, brother, dad, or friend. I didn’t realize that I would mind so much not spending my Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Spring Break back at home.

It’s amazing how the littlest things in life are the things that matter the most. You don’t realize what you truly care about or what you’ll miss most until you don’t have them anymore. It’s true for any situation. All you can really do is make the best out of it. So instead of being able to spend my cousin’s, my dad’s, and my brother’s birthdays with them, I’m now writing them letters, sending them gifts, and Skyping with them. I’m doing everything I can so they don’t feel the loss of me not being there. To make up for not being able to see my boyfriend in months, I’m flying to Arkansas for Thanksgiving to see him. Instead of being able to see my family over Thanksgiving, I’ll be able to spend an entire month with them back home over Christmas break. As for that rival football game, well… They usually air it online, but I’m making myself feel better by telling myself that I’ll go to their basketball games when I’m visiting over Christmas.


However, there are some things that you just can’t help when you’re so far away. Sometimes there are situations when a loved one just needs your help, but there’s not much you really can do and you just feel helpless. And that’s the thing that sucks the most about being so far away from college and having all of these long distance relationships with people. There are just some things you want to be able to be there for but no matter how hard you keep trying, it’s physically impossible. That’s the only thing that truly scares me being so far away for college. The horrible service and WiFi? No. The freezing and bipolar weather? No. The hard tests and classes? No.

But not being able to be there for someone I love? That’s the one thing that scares me. Because in the end, there’s only so much you can do, but at the very least you can always try and hope they know you love them no matter what.