April Fools: Frat pup reveals all about being raised by ‘the boys’


Collegian | Chloe Leline

Iguana Secrets, Canine Columbnist

On a beer-stained couch propped up in a patch of sun sits the resident pup of the Alpha Maximum Pi frat house. Emily is 9 months old and already the center of the AMPi world.

“I couldn’t consider myself luckier,” Emily said. “There’s endless toys, great food, amazing humans and 1,000 things to explore.”


Emily was adopted by the fraternity’s president, Chadwick Johnson, as a result of last year’s AMPuppies event. The life of the party and designated beer delivery girl, Emily fit right in with the guys.

“She’s an absolute unit, you know?” Johnson said. “Chasing footballs when we’re chucking it around with the guys, tossing around empty cans she’s full energy all of the time, and that’s the kind of vibe we expect from the brotherhood.”

Emily echoed Johnson’s call of camaraderie. Between investigating an abandoned pizza box and running to greet fraternity brothers as they got up for their days, Emily shared the deep familial connection she feels toward the boys.

“I’m a part of the team,” Emily said. “I cheer them up when they’re down, greet them at the start of every day and kill socks.”

Emily said it’s essential that spare socks are “killed” for the guys’ protection.

“Those taunting little monsters are intolerable,” Emily said. “Luckily, I’m the best sock hunter around.”

Johnson said the sock chewing is definitely a concern but more because of the financial burden. According to Johnson, they guys can’t afford to keep replacing socks, and many have begun to just wear the ones with holes in them.

“I mean, if she wants to eat them, whatever,” Johnson said. “What’s the worst that can happen? They twist up in her gut?”

Emily doesn’t see the issue with sock hunting; in fact, she considers that and underwear chewing to be a part of her earning her place in the house. Though it may seem an unreasonable fear, Emily said she doesn’t want the boys to ever feel taken advantage of, and taking care of them is her way of contributing.


“It makes me proud to see the guys wear the dead ones on their feet,” Emily said. “Mondays are particularly busy with sock hunting day. That’s when most of the business classes are, and when the boys leave in a rush, the socks come out.”

Comforting the guys is another vital role Emily plays. They much prefer to pet and play than talk about it, Emily said. During formal season, Emily is in high demand.

“The guys without dates really take it hard,” Emily said. “I do my best to be nice to the girls so they’ll stay, but the turnover rate is high in the house.”

Though Emily loves her time with the guys, she did say that the lack of a consistent female presence can be difficult at times. The emotional labor of being the only girl in the house can be a lot, and having someone to relate to would help.

“There’s no sisterhood in the brotherhood,” Emily said. “Sometimes I wish I got some more girl time. The guys are great, but there’s only so much they get about me.”

Emily does get to play with girls when the fraternity hosts parties. Day parties, or “darties,” are her favorite because more people play fetch with her and give her things to carry. Fetch is Emily’s favorite game.

“I love when they give me those things to deliver to someone,” Emily said, nodding her head toward a stack of beers on the table. “They’re so crinkly and funny, and when I accidentally break one, there’s this yummy stuff inside, and everyone laughs.”

Overall, Emily has a pretty good life with the guys, and as far as finding more girls to balance out the influences in her life, Emily said there are some new, more consistent friends in the house.

Johnson’s new gym partner, Lauren Marks, and her girlfriend, Claire O’Sullivan, have been hanging out at the house enough that Emily is getting in some great girl time. She says the best part is that because they’re all friends, they won’t “ghost” each other.

“It’s a happy place, the house,” Emily said. “And no matter the romantic lives of the boys, I always get to make friends.”

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