Native group of asbestos in Clark demands campus inclusivity group

Austin Fleskes

A native group of asbestos that resides in the Clark building held a sit-in meeting with members from the Colorado State University Diversity Offices on Saturday to demand an inclusivity group on campus.

The group, known as Justice for Asbestos, said in a press release earlier this week that they feel attacked and excluded from a campus that is said to pride itself on inclusivity.

Ad

“We deserve a place on campus where we feel safe. We deserve an area where we can be at peace and be with one another if we need to be,” said Chrysotile, one of the leaders of the group. “We find it unfair that we can take up half of an entire building and still be hated so deeply by so many students.”

Justice for Asbestos added in their press release that they are of no harm to students, as long as they are not disrupted.

“We don’t want any trouble. As a proud fibrous mineral, I can say that I feel very attacked by many people on campus,” said Crocidolite, a co-leader of the group. “I want to make sure that future asbestos groups will feel safe on campus.”

The sit-in meeting is planned to take place in Clark A, where the group says they feel the safest and have the most members.

“I will not put up with the hatred any longer,” said Amosite, the final co-leader of the group. “Rams take care of rams, and I feel it’s time that we accept that Rams take care of asbestos as well.”

Disclaimer: Happy April 1. This is a satirical post, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Photos used do not have any connection to the story and are used within the rights of free reuse, as well as cited to the best of our ability. This article is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.