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CSU to start serving pot brownies

Vegan, kosher, and vegetarian foods have long been served at Colorado State University dining halls, but soon another option will be available for students who prefer to consume cannabis.

The Director of Housing and Dining services for CSU said she hopes to start serving pot brownies within the next month and eventually expand their edibles selection to other dishes.

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“Brownies are a simple way to start, but we really want to have a range of options for students whose diets involve marijuana,” the Director said.

President of CSU, Tony Frank, said the change to the dining halls is a step in the right direction.

“What we are trying to do is be a school that advocates for progress,” Frank said. “We think starting with brownies will be an effective way to test this new dietary option. Other universities can learn from what we are doing here.”

However, not everyone is happy with the change to the menu. Wade Troxell, mayor of Fort Collins, thinks adding pot brownies to dining halls will be the opposite of progress.

“Do we really need to be adding more sugars and sweets our meals? Sure weed is legal here, but that doesn’t change the fact that desserts are unhealthy,” Troxell said.

Other opponents to this meal option are worried about the effect pot can have on the mental state of students. Dwayne Rigg, professor at CSU, said that edibles will affect the ability for students focus in class.

“The problem with pot is that it can cause people to become high. This is not what students want while learning,” Rigg said.

Some students are excited for this change. Freshman Sandy Milstone is glad the University is catering to students who have these dietary needs.

“Sure I wouldn’t mind it. But is this for real, or is this just another one of those April Fools’ stories?” Milstone said.

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Disclaimer: Happy April 1. This is a satirical post, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Photos used do not have any connection to the story and are used within the rights of free reuse, as well as cited to the best of our ability. This article is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.

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