Welcome to the third edition of your second favorite lemon-themed Lemonade Newsletter! As our avid reader is probably aware, we still have not addressed the ransom note that has been sitting patiently...

Welcome back to the How ‘Bout Them Lemons weekly newsletter! Sharp-eyed readers may remember that at the end of last week’s edition, we had discovered a mysterious ransom note. Don’t worry—we’ll...

Welcome to the first edition of How ‘Bout Them Lemons’ weekly newsletter! We were lost and directionless after The Hall Monitor-Herald shut down, but now we’re back on our feet with a spiffy,...

Note: This column is satirical. Following a month of neglect, mockery and abuse at the hand of his residents, Allison Hall inhabitant Brendan Busby threw an apology-themed party for his hall. Eyewitnesses...

Note: This column is satirical The Colorado State University community was shocked this week after freshman Cole Oppenheim discovered that Corbett Dining Hall’s famous “Human Burger”™ is composed...

Note: This column is satirical At a recent press conference, police Chief Benjamin Wadsworth stated that his department will no longer tolerate acts of vandalism under the guise of artistic expression,...

Note: This article is satirical In spite of their oft-cited claims that “love is a construct” and “I’ll probably just die alone,” Colorado State University anthropology Professors Jack Delby...

Note: This article is satirical An uneasy quiet spread throughout the Fort Collins community this past month after several LED screens foretelling the impending apocalypse materialized on Colorado State...

For two years, we here at the publication formerly known as The Water Closet Weekly have been committed to high-quality journalism, low-quality beef and, on occasion, our significant others. It is with...

  Larimer County’s first retail cannabis dispensary, Choice Organics, opened on April 9, and we here at The Water Closet Weekly decided it was our journalistic duty to report on this historic...

Audience members were shocked and delighted last week when the annual CSU Drag Show turned into a drag race. Those present report that this year’s SOGLBT Drag Show was proceeding along as normal until...

In his 40th consecutive press conference of the spring semester, Tony Frank admitted Tuesday that the destruction of the Lory Student Center was an inside job, thus confirming long held conspiracy theories...