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A good education significantly increases a person’s chances of becoming successful. Many parents understand this, so they try to save money for the education of their children in advance. But sometimes they face the unwillingness of their child to get an education. Especially many problems in this respect happen with sons. Boys are eager to start an adult life as soon as possible, so after school, they look for a job, or instead of a university they want to go to school to get a profession as soon as possible. Therefore, it is not easy to convince your son to go to university.
Avoid coercion and reproaches
Many mothers mistakenly believe that it is enough to “wear out” their son, i.e. constantly reproach him for not wanting to get a higher education. But this is a bad tactic. A guy at the age of 18 is just entering adulthood, and parents’ advice is taken indifferently at best.
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Even if regular reproaches will yield results and the son will go to university, there is no guarantee that he will stay there for a long time. After all, for him, admission is not connected with a joyful desire to become an excellent specialist. My son did it in order to stop the annoying lament of his parents.
The mood to study in this case will be low. Subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously) a young man will want to be expelled. When this happens, he will breathe a sigh of relief and tell his parents: “You see, higher education is not for me. It is better that I go on to work as a driver or at least finish some courses.
Competent defense of your position
The right approach is to motivate your son based on arguments he understands. It is better not to use vague reasoning in conversation or compare it with other people:
- “Only having a diploma will help you get settled in life.”
- “Here’s Mark from your class who went to a great university. How are you worse?”
- “After many years, you will regret not getting an education!”
All this sounds like moral teachings, which must have tired the child for many years.
Motivating phrases should be based on specifics, that is, they should contain the obvious and understandable advantages of studying at the university for your son:
Tell him or her that studying at university is the most interesting stage in life. And these are not just beautiful words. Student life is rich enough, and your son will be able to meet interesting and intelligent people. Young people do not understand this and believe that the university is the same school, where it is necessary to constantly grind the chapters from textbooks;
Pay attention to the high salaries of specialists. Certified staff always receive much more, and they are more likely to be promoted;
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Let it be clear that he can choose any specialty he likes.
Often parents make the mistake of trying to force their son to get a particular profession. Because of this, he does not want to go to university. Of course, if a parent has always dreamed of seeing his child as a doctor or lawyer, it will be difficult for him to accept another option. But if your son does not want it, you do not have to impose your desires on him. Invite him to choose a specialty or suggest a suitable one based on his interests and character. For example, if your son went to work as a sales assistant and he likes to communicate with people and understand the goods, then advise him to go to study in the specialty “Trade” or “Management”. If he has any difficulties with studies, so let the use of a paper writing service. There he will acquire a marketing profession and in the future will be able to find a solid firm where he will be engaged in consumer demand analysis and create strategies to promote the company’s products. This will be much more interesting than just interaction with customers.
Bad persuasion methods
In attempts to persuade your son to go to university, you should avoid:
- Paphos words about the honor of the family and the need to continue a professional dynasty. A young man who has recently graduated from school cares little about such things;
- Threat. Some parents believe that if they scare their son with the prospect of eviction from the apartment or deprivation of inheritance, it will achieve what they want. But they do not take into account youth maximalism. Threats are likely to be perceived by a son as a challenge and the conflict will only get worse. If he has already got a job, he may slam the door and go to live in a rented apartment. Realizing their mistake, parents will try to reconcile and not the fact that they will be able to restore trust with the child;
- Exposing themselves or a relative as a victim. For example, the mother in every way tries to show her son that his unwillingness to go to university “kills her. She is demonstratively silent and walks with a painful expression on her face. Especially inventive mothers connect their relatives to this topic: “Grandma is also very upset that you do not want to go to university. But she has high blood pressure and a sick heart!”.
There’s no need to rush your son into making a choice.
Sometimes parents look at the problem from the wrong angle. For example, they are sure that you should definitely go to university after school. But if you think about it, there is nothing wrong if your son wants to work for a year and live an independent life separately from your parents.
Some young men express their desire to go to the army. One can talk for a long time about how exciting it is for parents. But if a son thinks that the lessons of army life will be useful for him, it is unlikely that he should be discouraged.
Besides, not all young men after graduation from school have decided on their profession. During a year of independent life and work at the cash desk in “McDonald’s” many people have a clear desire to go to university.
