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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Photo Illustration by Ashley Potts

Seriously: Colin Kaepernick to star in Captain America reboot

Arisson Stanfield September 12, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Marvel...

Colorado State University CSU campus clark

Seriously: Traces of the Black Death found in Clark

Ethan Vassar September 10, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Fort...

Student bikers ride on the Green Trail extension after its grand opening on Aug. 21. (Clara Scholtz | Collegian)

Seriously: Freshman found still looking for his first class

Ethan Vassar September 9, 2018

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not like reading editor’s notes are subject to...

Seriously: Tony Frank says he reserves right to pardon himself

Seriously: Tony Frank says he reserves right to pardon himself

Rory Plunkett August 29, 2018
According to eyewitnesses, Frank parked his car in the middle of the Oval, climbed out of his truck with a sweatshirt, sunglasses and hoodie, carrying a large cup of Momo Lomo’s hot coffee.
The CSU marching band preforms at halftime during the inaugural football game at the new on-campus stadium on August 26, 2017. (Jack Starkebaum | Collegian)

Seriously: Plans for a second football stadium leaked

Jayla Hodge August 27, 2018
Even with the new state of the art facilities, some are worried it still won’t be enough to boost the team’s performance. Some in the football department are calling for construction of a second stadium to begin immediately.
Photo courtesy: New Belgium Brewing
New Belgium has crafted a new beer that is celebratory to the years of partnership between the brewery and CSU and the new stadium.

Seriously: Police called on two girls during brewery tour

Rory Plunkett August 21, 2018
The mothers of two college girls believe that their daughters were the victims of profiling during a brewery tour at New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins.
Seriously: Local church blames lightning strikes on marijuana

Seriously: Local church blames lightning strikes on marijuana

Arisson Stanfield July 26, 2018
Witnesses reported Potter was hit immediately after he begun to smoke a marijuana cigarette atop the tallest tree in the area. Some argue that this was no mere coincidence.
Kevin Sullivan, Tristan Syron and their campaign team celebrate their winning of the ASCSU presidential election by chugging milk on April 4. (Colin Shepherd | Collegian)

Seriously: Syron-Sullivan campaign member hospitalized

Ethan Vassar April 6, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from the Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. Fort...

Seriously LTTE: Wow, I love the student newspaper

Seriously LTTE: Wow, I love the student newspaper

Guest Author April 1, 2018

Dear Editor, In response to The Collegian's work this year, I just wanted to say that you all are doing a great job.  Contrary to pretty much every other reader you have, I find myself so energized...

Seriously: Generation after Millennials to finally be named

Seriously: Generation after Millennials to finally be named

Julia Trowbridge April 1, 2018
The Pew Research Center has recently announced the new cut-off for the Millennial generation, changing it from 1997 to 1996. The next task, for the Pew Research Center and anyone who feels like they should voice their opinions about what generations should be called, is naming the next generation.
Seriously: UCA to host Kanye West in new organ concert series

Seriously: UCA to host Kanye West in new organ concert series

Claire Oliver March 31, 2018

Get ready CSU; Yeezus is coming.  After months of trying to get someone who has an actual pop culture following to perform at CSU, the University of the Arts will host Kanye West in an organ concert...

The new stump in the plaza is pictured on Friday afternoon. The stump in the plaza is a mainstay in the plaza and it serves as a place for people to hang out and speak their mind.

Seriously: Free Speech Stump takes leave of absence

Leta McWilliams March 31, 2018

The Free Speech Stump, a landmark here at Colorado State University, declared he is taking a leave of absence, and didn’t show up to the plaza this morning. According to Stump, he has had enough in light...

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