Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s sports section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

There is a killer on the loose in the region of the Mountain West Conference known as Fort Collins. A group of Colorado State University Rams who reside in the depths of Moby Arena have been terrorizing any opponent who dares to enter. With over 1,000 kills by the Rams volleyball team, things have not fared well for anyone brave enough to challenge them.

While all of the players are frightening, no one in the group can strike fear into her opponents quite like Kennedy Stanford, who some are calling the “gold-blooded killer.”

“Once (Stanford) gets going, she’s not going to stop. … I think they know they are not stopping her.” -Karina Leber, junior middle blocker

Stanford’s weapon of choice: her bare hands. Stanford is a lethal hitter who imposes fear into the Rams’ challengers. Stanford’s swing is what makes her so deadly, accounting for 256 of the Rams’ 1,017 kills this season.  

“If she’s going to swing, then she’s going to swing, so I feel like that strikes fear into her opponents,” said Naeemah Weathers, junior middle blocker.

Weathers emphasized Stanford’s swinging ability, which has been on full display this season while the Rams currently sit at a record of 8-2 in conference play. Karina Leber, another junior middle blocker, said opponents know there is no stopping Stanford. 

“Once she gets going, she’s not going to stop,” Leber said. “I think they know they are not stopping her.”

While the gold-blooded killer is a vicious attacker on the court, it’s not just her on-court play that opponents fear. Stanford also carries herself professionally and in a way that her opponents know will make their lives difficult. 

“She is really stoic and professional with everything that she does,” said Annie Sullivan, senior outside hitter. “So I think that’s kind of scary with just how focused she is.”

Sullivan, Leber and Weathers all compared Stanford’s abilities to Freddy Krueger. Similar to Krueger, Stanford haunts her opponents in their dreams prior to them facing the team. This allows the team to gain an edge on their opponents prior to facing them. While Krueger can be stopped by pulling him into reality, Stanford has no weaknesses and cannot be stopped, according to her teammates.

While Stanford is ruthless, she can not do it all herself, as the Rams are a very balanced group. Stanford does lead the team in kills, but there are several other Rams who are not too far behind her. This balance allows Stanford to be as frightening as she is. 

“(Coach) Tom (Hilbert) is a really big stickler about distributing our offense so teams can’t guess where we’re going to go,” Weathers said

One spooky thing about Stanford that her teammates mentioned was that she was born Oct. 30, the night before Halloween.

This year, the Rams will play two games the week leading up to Halloween. They play the San Diego State University Aztecs Oct. 27 and the California State University, Fresno Bulldogs Oct. 29. In these two games, fans can look for the legend of the gold-blooded killer to grow.

Reach Damon Cook at sports@collegian.com or on Twitter @dwcook2001.