Friends-to-lovers can be a controversial trope, but a romantic partner is often expected to be our closest friend. Can friendships outside of partners offer the same level of support, connection and fulfillment? Is it better to see the two roles as mutually exclusive or as an intersection? A 2025 Colorado State University research study explored these questions and their complex nature. 

Originally published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in April 2025, the study surveyed 940 American adults in romantic relationships with a person they labeled as a best friend. The goal of the study was ultimately to determine who tends to label their romantic partner as their best friend and how that may affect their well-being. 

The survey was completed in four phases: participants gave background information and demographics; identified a list of up to seven friends; shared information regarding general views of friendship; and shared information on well-being. 

Three-hundred forty-two people, or 36.4% of the sample population, included their partner as a named friend. One-hundred thirty-five people, or 14.4%, indicated their romantic partner as their best friend, and of those participants, one-third also had at least one other best friend. Participants who identified their partner as a friend or best friend were more likely to have perceptions of closeness with their partner, whereas those who identified best friends who were not their partner reported perceptions of greater social support.

Other demographic factors, including age, gender, income and type of romantic relationship, influenced the likelihood of the participants viewing their romantic partner as their best friend, with older individuals and those with lower incomes having higher likelihoods of labeling their partner as their best friend. Married individuals were less likely to call their partner their best friend.

Natalie Pennington, assistant professor at CSU in the communication studies department and lead investigator of the study, detailed her experience with knowing people on both sides of the spectrum.

“You’re arguing with your romantic partner, you can go to your best friend; you’re arguing with your best friend, you can go to your romantic partner,” Pennington said. “Then the flip of it, though, is that valuing friendship, specifically with your romantic partner, is good for you.” 

The dataset originated from the American Friendship Project, led by Pennington, Professor Jeffrey A. Hall from the University of Kansas and Associate Professor Amanda Holmstrom from Michigan State University. The project conducted a national survey of adult friendships in the United States, surveying around 2,000 Americans, once in 2022 and once in 2025.

In past research, the term “friend” has been narrowly defined. Romantic partners, parents and siblings cannot be placed into the friend category. Pennington determined that this wasn’t realistic for people’s lived experiences; all types of individuals, no matter the role they play in one’s life, can be considered friends.

The study utilized the convoy model, which provides scientific context to the value of having a network of people who support an individual. But the quality and quantity of friends did not directly impact each other.  

“The broader spectrum of research we’re doing, with the American Friendship Project, is that we aren’t telling people they need to have 10 friends, 20 friends, 30 friends, but that quality that can be gained by going from a single person to a few people,” Pennington said. 

The study also considered the historical-cultural norms of prioritizing marriage and romantic partners over friendships, as co-author Brooke Wolfe, an assistant professor in the department of communication at Michigan State University, explained. While women previously relied on their husbands due to societal constructs and constraints, this is not reflected in modern society. 

“We really wanted to reflect this moment in time and see what the benefits are, and that you don’t just need to have a romantic partner to have a best friend, that there’s other options out there, and that you can have fulfilling relationships that are outside of romantic relationships, and that those can be prioritized in a similar way,” Wolfe said.

Pennington added to this, describing a generational shift toward fewer people getting married and more individuals embracing singlehood, which is in turn leading to a rise in the appreciation of friendship outside of romantic partners.

“Young adults are leaning into the value of developing good friendships as a starting point, which I think it’s important for us to have people to support us and to connect with and have fun, and instead of saying one person for all things,” Pennington said.

Though these concepts are still new in a world that once placed emphasis on coupling, it emphasizes the diverse relationship dynamics that people are capable of engaging in that best fit their unique lived experiences. 

“I really love and try to celebrate that we could have lots of different relationships, and it’s just knowing what you want and why you’re doing it,” Pennington said.

By investing in a variety of diverse relationships, a person can create a network of support from people they rely on, even when others are busy, and feel supported in all of their different identities. Only through continual commitment and dedication can relationships, within any category, continue to flourish. 

“Treat friendships just in the same way that you treat your romantic relationship,” Wolfe said. “Your friends want to be taken on a date. Your friends want to be taken to a bookstore. … Your friends want to be prioritized. … Treat them and date them in the same way that you would your romantic partner.”

Reach Annamarie Burford at science@collegian.com or on social media @RMCollegian.