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Jumping on TikTok trends? Not very cutesy, not very mindful — definitely not demure.

The TikTok community has been buzzing since the term demure first made its debut, using it with every opportunity they get. While many find this trend to be entertaining, I find it rather irritating.

Initially, I must admit, I enjoyed it. I thought the word was cute, and I liked seeing how creative people got with using it in their videos. But now people have overused it, and it has lost its appeal. It’s time to put this trend to rest, just like every other fading TikTok fad.

If you live under a rock and don’t know what the word means, demure is essentially a way to describe someone, typically a woman, who is shy, modest and reserved. This trend was initially popularized by TikTok influencer Jools Lebron, who famously said in her video, “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful.”

With over 45 million views, it’s clear that both her and the trend captivated a wide audience, myself included. However, for many TV fans like myself, this isn’t my first encounter with the word.

In the iconic show “Gilmore Girls,” Emily Gilmore, Rory Gilmore’s grandmother, uses the word to describe her granddaughter’s choice of club soda at dinner, saying it was very demure. As a “Gilmore Girls” fanatic, hearing the word again sparked up a memory from that scene, bringing me joy. Now I would like nothing more than to never hear it again.

Like many other TikTok trends that have come and gone, the demure trend feels rather superficial and lacking in depth. While I enjoy seeing the creativity that people bring to it, this trend lacks substance compared to others. There are so many more meaningful and heartfelt trends that deserve more attention.

For instance, I never skip a video in which a mom sends her child off to kindergarten with the song “Wings” by Birdy playing in the background. Moments like that are genuine and moving, offering a sense of community and connection between all the moms on TikTok, which is often missing from trend-driven content. 

Another trend I enjoy is the transition videos showing the transformation from before to after getting ready, set to Sabrina Carpenter’s new song, “Taste.” These videos are not only entertaining but also serve multiple purposes. They showcase creativity and trendiness, create a visual impact and, most importantly, boost Carpenter’s song by increasing its visibility and engagement. 

One of the main reasons I dislike the trend is that it limits self-expression. As someone more introverted and typically reserved, I feel the trend discourages people from showing their true personalities and being outgoing or bold. Like many TikTok trends, it pressures people to conform to a similar style of personality. Additionally, it’s not very inclusive — not in terms of demographics but in how it leaves out those with louder, more expressive personalities.

Demure promotes unrealistic standards of what it means to be quiet and reserved. What happened to embracing your true self, whether you’re quiet, loud or somewhere in between? Suddenly, it’s not cool if you draw attention to yourself or if you’re assertive.

The trendsetter behind demure also posted a TikTok this past month claiming it’s “never demure” to eat all of your food at once. While she is joking, young viewers might take this seriously and believe they aren’t being demure if they finish their meals — an unhealthy message we should be cautious about sending.

In a generation that celebrates individuality, it’s time to let go of concepts like demure that confine us to one particular personality. Rather than limiting ourselves to being quiet and modest, we should foster a culture that values confidence and the freedom to be whoever we want to be — whether that’s quiet, bold or anywhere in between.

Reach Ava Harris at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @avaahariss.