Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.

In case you live under a rock and have no idea what is happening on campus, the department of journalism and media communication at Colorado State University threw one of the greatest parties to have graced the Andrew G. Clark Building in its tenured history: Clarkchella. 

CSU is so old that “Colorado State University” is our third name. Back when we were founded in 1870, we were Colorado Agricultural College. This campus has seen every type of party in its 150-plus years of operation, but all pale in comparison to Clarkchella.

The department of journalism and media communication at CSU is often referred to as the coolest and most prestigious at CSU. It is only right the department would flex its superiority with the event to end all events. 

The pandemic dragged on far longer than anyone suspected, and this put an end to in-person events for roughly two years now. Clarkchella was a celebration of journalism and media communication and all of the work that its students produce. This celebration was two years in the making. 

This was one of the first events the department has been able to host in person, and for current juniors, this would be one of if not their first in-person event like this in their time at CSU. It is only fitting that it would be Clarkchella. 

After the hype of Clarkchella, it is easy to forget that Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival started last weekend, but with no-names like Harry Styles, Doja Cat and The Weeknd playing at Coachella, who cares? I would rather have the tried-and-true Canvas Credit Union table where they pass out the same free stuff every event. 

Clarkchella was a charcuterie board of excitement that far exceeded the hype. The only downside was not being able to properly participate in the after-party at Ramskeller Pub & Grub.

“The department of journalism and media communication should always be searching for ways to flex on other departments. What better way than to host a party in the finest building on the grounds of Colorado State University?”

It is a tough career to be a journalist, and it is daunting to enter a field that has been under considerable criticism in recent years. As we enter into the modern age of information sharing, print is on the way out, and journalists are often underpaid and underappreciated, and recently, we have unfairly lost our credibility.

With the realization that we are going into a profession responsible for the free flow of information necessary for democracy, we can rest easy knowing events like Clarkchella will be there to celebrate us. 

For all of the engineering majors who are probably not reading this article, you may have near-guaranteed employment post-graduation, but you will never have Clarkchella. Just remember that. 

The only question that remains now is will Clarkchella make a return next year? As an earnest attendee of the first-ever Clarkchella, I frankly believe it would be a crime against humanity if Clarkchella was a one-and-done event. 

The department of journalism and media communication should always be searching for ways to flex on other departments. What better way than to host a party in the finest building on the grounds of Colorado State University?