Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.

The truth is that you are all you get — one body and one brain. One life that is entirely yours.

People will come and go. Situations will change. Even the things you once thought were permanent can disappear. The only constant you are guaranteed is yourself. That’s why it is crucial to understand who you are when no one else is around.

You may think that simply existing reveals who you are, but it actually takes considerable time and introspection to discover yourself. Thankfully, we get our whole lives to search.

Spending time alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Being lonely is heavy and unwanted. Being alone is intentional. It’s choosing to sit with yourself and appreciate the world around you. 

It doesn’t mean sitting in the corner of a dark room, staring at the wall and chewing your cheek up. It’s doing the things you enjoy without needing someone else to validate them.

Spending time alone also doesn’t mean alienating yourself from society; human connection is irreplaceable. But if you can’t enjoy your own company, you’ll always be chasing someone else’s.

I didn’t always understand that. I used to book my days full from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., constantly surrounded by people. I would throw my headphones on whenever I had the chance. I would turn on the TV before bed and make sure I fell asleep with it blaring. I was afraid of conquering my thoughts and discovering who I really was. 

With time, I began to realize that I can’t shut myself out. I would never know who I was because I didn’t give myself the chance. So I started to walk around without headphones; I gave myself 30 minutes of lights-out alone time before bed; and I started saying “no” to hangouts when I knew I needed time for myself. 

When you hang out alone, you get to hang out with your brain. For me, it feels like my brain can split into two separate people, so in my head, it doesn’t actually feel like I am alone; I’m having a conversation with my thoughts, and it’s in those moments that you start to hear yourself clearly. 

You begin to notice what excites you, what angers you, what you tolerate and what you refuse to accept. You start asking yourself harder questions: How do I want to live? Who do I want to become? What actually matters to me?

It’s in the quiet moments — walking home without headphones, driving without calling anyone — that the questions start showing up. And being alone doesn’t always have to be quiet. Sing your heart out, dance like no one is watching, scream into your pillow — the activity itself doesn’t matter, just do it in your own company.

When you hang out with yourself for long enough, something awesome happens: you build trust with yourself. Knowing and trusting yourself builds self-esteem, which helps you navigate all types of situations. You become confident in yourself because you are the one in control. 

Stop filling your time with people who don’t add value to your life simply because you’re afraid of being alone. Being alone will make you feel more comfortable in everyday life because, through it all, you have yourself — someone to count on.

Self-love is a superpower. As far as we know, we only get one chance to be a person; you owe it to yourself to actually discover who that person is. Because at the end of the day, the relationship you have with yourself sets the standard for every relationship in your life. 

At the end of every loud day when the lights go out, it’s just you. I used to ignore this quiet. Now I embrace it because I found something worth listening to. 

Stop drowning yourself out. You might like what you hear.

​Reach Charlotte Seymour at letters@collegian.com or on social media @RMCollegian.