Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
We are a cyber generation; after the mainstream internet emerged in the ’90s, transforming the economy, it created a platform for innovation that was incomprehensible to decades prior. Email replaced letters, online stores replaced in-person shopping and newspapers suddenly weren’t in your hand but on a screen. This new interface defined the generations that adapted to these tools, forming a new, more interconnected culture than ever.
The invention of social media came knocking just one decade later. Our generation grew up with instant messaging and the ability to maintain long-distance connections — something our descendants have longed for. Microcultures found community regardless of proximity, with shared interests outshining geographical status.
Social media has absolutely defined our generation as the cyber one, and with that, the social issues that we face are nothing short of unprecedented. Community has become almost entirely digital, and our third places no longer belong to the local bowling alley; they belong to gaming servers, comment sections and Reddit threads. While the accessibility of social networking has increased, the desire to seek physical connection has eroded.
This is why we read headlines like, “Gen Z’s Romance Gap: Why Nearly Half of Young Men Aren’t Dating,” or “Gen Z’s biggest dating hurdle? They don’t know how to flirt.” Dating now can feel nearly impossible, especially compared to previous eras. Many like to blame this phenomenon on the presence of dating apps, claiming that they perpetuate superficiality and communication issues in dating.
Although they have proven to be troublesome in these departments, dating apps don’t create the problem; they’re simply an expected manifestation and response to a problem that already existed.
Our dependence on our technological devices is deafening. Aspects of our world — business, friendship, entertainment, pleasure — live in our phones. With society’s hyper-dependence and demand for everything to be digital, dating apps are an outcome we should have expected — and one we should not entirely reject.
Apps like Hinge, Bumble and, dare I say, Tinder are actually outlets. They allow us to step outside our digital echo chambers and meet people face-to-face.
Meeting partners on apps can feel embarrassing. Though we grew up in this digital age and should be used to it, we also grew up idolizing stories of romantic meet-cutes from our parents and movies. Those can obviously still happen, but the value of a relationship should not and does not fall on the way two people meet. The value of a relationship comes from the connection two people make on first dates, hourslong conversations, mutual curiosity and, quite literally, everything else.
Dating apps provide an opportunity for those conditioned with social anxiety to make that first move more comfortably. They also provide access to more people. If you go to the same bar every weekend and see the same people, you now have a broader range of eligible prospects.
Dating apps are not the destination; relationships do not reside in the interface. These apps are merely tools used to get a foot in the door. They do not substitute effort and courage — they just reinvented it in a way that we unfortunately had coming. They do not erase romance; people ultimately have to log off, show up and front the risk of being awkward to start something new.
Though the portal into the dating world has become increasingly digital, building and maintaining connections still rely entirely on human interaction.
Reach Caroline Studdert at letters@collegian.com or on social media @RMCollegian.
