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There’s a lot of variety when it comes to beer, especially in Fort Collins, where we have over 20 breweries. Depending on your personal preferences, taste, alcohol by volume, malt and other factors lift some beers above others, but the most important thing to consider when picking a drink is, of course, the packaging.

I’ve examined the options at 20 Fort Collins breweries to find the best beer packaging in the area. I’m a perfectly unbiased judge of packaging because I have never had a beer in my life and don’t ever intend to. My opinions are unfettered by any knowledge about beer. 

I am evaluating packaging based on its prettiness, its creativity and how much joy it sparks. Breweries that do not display their packaging on their website are automatically eliminated because if they aren’t going to show it off, it must not be very good. 

Or they don’t bother putting their beer in cans or bottles and instead deliver it to people’s mouths by way of a hose. Like I said before, I don’t know how people drink beer.

1. Sippin’ Tropical from Odell Brewing Co. 

This gorgeous beer can features a colorful sloth hanging from a vine. The sloth alone wins Sippin’ Tropical the top spot because it’s a sloth, and anyone who doesn’t appreciate the grace and beauty of sloths has likely never seen one.

The quality of the sloth and can is enhanced by warm, tropical colors, fun fonts and a little butterfly. It fully succeeds at embodying its name.

Sippin’ Tropical can be found at Odell Brewing Co. at 800 E. Lincoln Ave.

2. Good Behavior from Odell Brewing Co.

Lady Justice is the star of this can, portrayed in colors of teal and gold against a soft blue sky with pretty little clouds. Instead of a sword, she holds in her right hand a spatula-esque staff that I can only assume has something to do with the brewing process. 

Her scales weigh two things that look like artichokes, so I also assume this beer is artichoke-flavored. That doesn’t sound very yummy, but it doesn’t really matter when the can looks this nice. 

The image of Lady Justice is extra special because it promotes safe drinking habits; if you drink and drive, Lady Justice will pull you over, weigh your heart against one of her artichokes, discern your guilt and send you to prison or fine you or do whatever happens to drunk drivers. 

Good Behavior can also be found at Odell Brewing because they aren’t slacking on awesome can designs. 

3. Bordeauxn’t from Gilded Goat Brewing Company

This bottle design is simple but elegant, and it has a goat on it. I guess I am biased in that I give fluffy animals high rankings. I also love the name of this beer.

The goat looks a lot like a ram, so if you’re a student at Colorado State University, you can drink this beer knowing you kind of have school spirit. 

I notice there’s another artichoke on this beer. I’m starting to think the artichokes are supposed to be barley because I know barley has something to do with brewing beer. However, this is all uneducated speculation, so do not drink any of the beers on this list expecting to taste either artichokes or barley. 

Bordeauxn’t can be found at Gilded Goat Brewing Company at 3500 S. College Ave.

4. Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA from New Belgium Brewing

This can doesn’t immediately spark joy because its main character is a skeleton, and skeletons are scary. However, the skeleton’s outfit has a lot of fun details that make it interesting to look at. 

The skeleton clearly frequents casinos in the American West. They have a flamboyant suit coat with colorful flowers and dice on it, and their perfect smile displays a golden tooth. I imagine the skeleton flashes this tooth at other poker players to show off their wealth and success in gambling. 

This can has a story behind it, whether that story is the inspiration for the art or what viewers of the art are inspired to imagine.

Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA can be found at New Belgium Brewing at 500 Linden St.

5. Beer to go from Funkwerks

This can isn’t for a specific drink but is instead used for to-go beers from Funkwerks. It wins a place on this list because it sparks a lot of joy. Wavy layers of green and yellow cover the whole can, and it looks really shiny. 

In addition to beer, this can oozes self-confidence. It is labeled “REALLY GOOD BEER” — it wastes no time advertising itself. We can all learn from this can to promote our own strengths to get the recognition we deserve.

You can get beer to go in this can from Funkwerks at 1900 E. Lincoln Ave. 

Reach Adah McMillan at letters@collegian.com or on Twitter @mcadahmillan.