A holiday playlist for the Grinches of the world

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(Graphic Illustration by Falyn Sebastian | The Collegian)

Maddy Erskine, Arts and Culture Editor

There is nothing that makes me hate Christmas more than Christmas music. Does this make me a Grinch? I mean, he is much more logical and relatable than the entire population of Whoville, who seem to have quite a materialistic outlook on the holiday they view as morally superior. 

Anyway, here is a specially crafted holiday playlist for my fellow Grinches. 

sympathy 4 the grinch‘ by 100 gecs

“sympathy 4 the grinch” is by far the best Christmas song released in the last five years. The bassline is catchy, the lyrics are holiday-themed without an obsessive level of cheesiness and it even has a classic “la, la, la” moment. Grab your jingle bells, and get ready to headbang your heart out to some holiday hyper-pop. 

I Don’t Believe In Santa Claus‘ by The Vandals 

“I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus” deserves a special award for not only hating on Christmas but giving very real reasons as to why this holiday is a corporate money scam that has lost all real sense of joy. As sad as it is, being naughty or nice isn’t what is going to fill your stocking — it’s having rich parents. 

Sugar Town‘ by ShitKid

Is “Sugar Town” at all related to Christmas? No. This is why it deserves to be on this playlist — because not every song you play in December needs to be a snow-falling, Santa-hugging freaking Christmas carol. I specifically feel the Grinch would appreciate this song because it is a groovy song about going to hell complete with chaotic instrumentation. 

Winter in Japan‘ by Meth Wax

The word “winter” is relatively unrelated to the lyrics of “Winter in Japan,” but I am classifying this as a punk holiday song anyway. What is more punk rock than listening to songs about how people don’t care while watching the snowfall — or the lack of snowfall?

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out‘ by Fall Out Boy

Why does “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” make me so emotional? The lyrics “Merry Christmas, I could care less” hit a little too hard. All these lyrics hit just a bit too close to home, and then with the acoustic guitar and key change, it’s simply too good. It’s the perfect song to play as you inevitably feel lonely looking at everyone’s picture-perfect holidays while you sit alone by an empty tree and cry yourself to sleep by the fireplace. 

Gift‘ by The Garden

Other than the word “gift,” there isn’t much of a holiday theme to “Gift,” which is once again a necessity because there is no need to listen to exclusively holiday music all winter. I feel the Grinch would appreciate the music of The Garden in general because of the chaotic and edgy vibes their music gives off. This song in particular would have fit perfectly into the soundtrack of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” if he had successfully ruined Christmas, which ultimately would have been a lovely gift of change to give the obsessive and closed-minded citizens of Whoville. 

Happy Holidays, You Bastard‘ by blink-182 

I hope you all enjoy these 42 seconds as much as I do. According to Genius, bassist Mark Hoppus wrote “Happy Holidays, You Bastard” on Christmas Eve as a way to get out his frustration trying to wrap presents and prepare for the holiday, which as we all know can be unnecessarily stressful.

So if anyone asks you why you didn’t get them a Christmas gift, send them this song.

Check out the playlist on Spotify here.

Reach Maddy Erskine at entertainment@collegian.com or on Twitter @maddyerskine_.