Pulling up to the library parking lot, CSU senior business major Chris Money was ecstatic to find a parking spot.

“I was ecstatic,” Money said. “Never has this ever happened to me before. No matter what building I go to, I always have to circle the parking lot at least five times to find a spot.”

Money’s girlfriend, Erin Johnson, a junior majoring in underwater basketweaving, was sitting in the passenger seat and equally as surprised.

“This was just a stunning turn of events,” she said. “I was flabbergasted.”

Johnson said that this was an experience she never expected to have.

“Even during my freshman year, when I would come home late at night, around midnight, I would have to drive around to four different lots before finding a spot,” she said.

The Collegian thoroughly looked through CSU’s parking records, and discovered that this was the first time in recorded history that anyone quickly found parking upon arrival on campus.

Disclaimer: Happy April 1. This is a satirical post, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Photos used do not have any connection to the story and are used within the rights of free reuse, as well as cited to the best of our ability. This article is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.