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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously

Seriously: University to invite non-controversial speakers to avoid confrontation

Seriously: University to invite non-controversial speakers to avoid confrontation

Jayla Hodge March 31, 2018

In light of the protests around controversial speakers, Colorado State University administrators have enacted a new plan to bring more speakers to campus and receive fewer angry emails from students —...

A 400 seat lecture room in Behavioral Sciences Building is packed full with mostly Freshman students enrolled in Chemistry 107.

Seriously: Student actually gains worthwhile experience in music appreciation class

Henry Netherland March 31, 2018

Freshman Jeremy Fenkledorph sets an unprecedented standard for CSU students everywhere by paying attention in music appreciation class. In order to fill a slot for his spring semester class schedule,...

Seriously: Elon Musk gets accepted into CSU

Seriously: Elon Musk gets accepted into CSU

Ty Betts March 31, 2018

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. The...

The Morgan Library (Julia Trowbridge | Collegian)

Seriously: CSU student finds peace and quiet in the Morgan Library

Julia Trowbridge March 31, 2018
After three hours of relentless searching on Monday afternoon of midterms week, Luke Gonzales, a sophomore studying economics, has finally found a quiet spot in the Morgan Library to study.
The end of the semester is an exciting stressful time, but is important to take the student course surveys seriously.  As they offer teachers great feed back. (Karen Schamaun|Collegian)

Seriously: CSU bans skipping syllabus week

Josh Silva March 31, 2018

Syllabus week: Famed throughout college towns for partying, drinking, and definitely not going to class. However, a new rule from CSU has been implemented to change that. Starting in the summer, not only...

Photo courtesy of CSIRO.

Seriously: Student opts for women to solve his problems over therapist

Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick March 31, 2018

Bailey Williams, a junior CSU student majoring in psychology, has decided, yet again, to ask a local women to solve his problems instead of going to a licensed therapist. Last night at the bars, Williams...

"Pay Here" reads a sign in the Morgan Library parking lot. (Joe Oakman | Collegian)

Seriously: “Outsider” ASCSU candidate wants to be more secretive, increase parking costs

Michelle Fredrickson March 31, 2018

One ASCSU campaign has been labeled an "outsider" candidate this election season by running on more expensive parking, changing the city ordinance to U+1 and increased secrecy.  This new dark horse candidate...

Seriously: Larry Eustachy to mentor Niko Medved for 2018-19 season

Seriously: Larry Eustachy to mentor Niko Medved for 2018-19 season

Michelle Gould March 31, 2018

During Niko Medved’s introductory press conference held on March 23, the new CSU men's basketball coach revealed he is a lifelong fan of Larry Eustachy and would be honored to work alongside him. Upon...

Photo use of creative commons.

Seriously: Local old man confused by website

Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick March 31, 2018

A local Fort Collins man found himself unable to navigate a collegiate newspaper’s website when he woke up Sunday morning. “Can I get some goddamned news?” asked Eric Terial. “Oooh they’re trying...

Seriously: Easter Bunny delivers beer to CSU students for a hoppy time

Seriously: Easter Bunny delivers beer to CSU students for a hoppy time

Nick Botkin March 31, 2018
A satire piece about the Easter Bunny's 2018 visit to the Colorado State University campus to distribute beer.
A CSU-partnered study on the Colorado cannabis industry found that nearly half of the workers in the industry received little to no health and safety training. (Jamie Rankin | Collegian) Photo credit: Jamie Rankin

Seriously: Ramskellar to host sweet smoking sesh

CJ Ash March 31, 2018

Colorado is famous for being the first state to legalize marijuana. This year, students can celebrate the marijuana-themed holiday, April 20, on campus. Ramskellar is set to host their own 4/20 event: "Ramskellar...

President Tony Frank reads a copy of the Collegian. (Photo Credit: Megan Fischer)

Seriously: Tony Frank caught writing mean comments on Collegian Facebook page

Ryan Tougaw March 31, 2018

Colorado State University President Tony Frank was caught in the act of writing off-color comments on The Collegian's website late Friday night. Frank, writing under the pseudonym “Frony Tank,” was...

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