Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.

When I was preparing to start college, I did what most incoming first-years do: turned to social media to find a roommate. I browsed through Instagram, TikTok and even weird roommate Tinder-like apps called Bunky: The Roommate App and Roomie. I chatted with people throughout the spring before my first year. We swapped photos, favorite colors, music tastes and the classic, “Are you clean or messy?” questionnaire.

By the time summer rolled around, I had chatted with some pretty awesome people and was getting very excited to pick a roommate and spend the year with her. When I finally chose who I was going to live with, it felt like we had to be close. It felt like we weren’t just choosing roommates — we were choosing friendship, loyalty and an entire college experience. But reality doesn’t always follow the feed.

Here’s the truth people are afraid to say out loud: Your roommate does not have to be your best friend. And honestly? They probably won’t be. That doesn’t mean something’s wrong or that college is off to a bad start. It just means you’re two people sharing a space.

Social media romanticizes the idea of the instant roommate bond with the matching dorm decor, morning coffee runs and photo dumps filled with memories from day one. While that can happen, it is pretty rare.

Trying to make a genuine connection with someone you’ve never met on social media is nearly impossible. Social media already makes everything look more glorified than it is, creating unrealistic expectations. It also forces you to dive into the uncomfortable questions right away to see if you click, which is not how a sincere connection develops.

Whether you don’t connect with them, they don’t connect with you or it’s a mutual disconnect, you will likely wonder, “Why don’t we hang out? Are we supposed to be closer?” It can feel like a letdown, especially if you had big hopes for your first-year roommate experience.

But living with someone isn’t the same as connecting with someone. You have to move past any sort of connection you had online because that doesn’t matter anymore; it’s about how they act in real life.

It is no secret that living with another person can be challenging. Sharing a space as small as a dorm teaches you a lot about your roommate and yourself. Because of this, many people go into their first year hoping their roommate will later be in their wedding. But the reality is that sometimes people click better online than in person. If you vibe with your roommate on social media but it disappears once you meet them, that is OK.

The pressure to form a friendship can actually make things worse. If you’re constantly trying to force a connection you thought you had, small annoyances might begin to feel bigger. Every missed invite or solo outing can sting.

But if you take a step back and let the relationship be what it is, it may feel freeing. You can respect each other’s space, communicate and share a mini fridge without being emotionally intertwined. Some of the best roommate situations are just that: peaceful, functional and drama free.

And if you do become besties with your roommate found on social media, that’s amazing. But that connection should happen naturally, not because you matched on Bunky and followed each other’s Vsco accounts back in April.

If you are searching for a roommate, I still recommend looking on social media. It’s a great place to start. Just don’t set your expectations too high — you never know what could happen. Also, remember that you can always go with a random selection. Sometimes that is the best option because you don’t have to put any stress into the decision. 

With that, remember that you can always switch roommates if you are stuck in a sticky situation. This is your first year of college, so make it perfect for you. A healthy roommate relationship doesn’t need to come with a friendship bracelet and an Instagram follow. If you’re kind, respectful and honest with each other, you’re doing just fine. Everything else is just a bonus.