Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
FORT COLLINS – One of the most honored and historic traditions at Colorado State University, the Undie Run, has received some severe pushback from the University this year. The event, which is meant to be an avenue for students to let out stress before finals week by showing off parts of their body that haven’t seen sun since November, is looked forward to by many students.
CSU’s stance against the Undie Run has made many incoming freshman for the fall 2019 semester question their decision to choose CSU.
“The whole reason I chose to go to CSU was because of the Undie Run,” said Howard Potts, a current high school senior who was accepted and committed to CSU in March. “Now that it might not happen, I wish I would’ve committed to Boulder.”
The deadline for students to confirm their admission, National Decision Day, was May 1. Many incoming freshman feel cheated that CSU chose to put their foot down against the Undie Run so close to National Decision Day when an email was sent out cautioning against it on April 29, just two days prior.
“There is definitely something fishy about it,” said Maisie Turner, another incoming freshman.
The email cites structural damage as the University’s main concern, a hypocritical notion for many current students at the University. The fact that CSU has no problem letting students attend class in the death trap that is Clark, but takes issue with cracked concrete, is offensive to many.
CSU’s stance against the Undie Run has made many incoming freshman for the Fall 2019 semester question their decision to choose CSU.
In addition to current and incoming students, some of the University’s sponsors have spoken out against its stance on the Undie Run. The athletic clothing outfitter Under Armour, which provides CSU with apparel for all sports, shares the same beliefs as students.
“First Hughes Stadium, then Tony Frank, now the Undie Run? The CSU we chose to partner with and provide apparel for is becoming unrecognizable,” said CEO Kevin Plank.
In a press release last week, Under Armour stated they will be providing free, licensed underwear and sports bras for the first 100 finishers of the Undie Run. Another company that has a deal with the University, Powerade, supports the event and will have several tables with their sports drinks set out placed along the Undie Run route.
Time will tell if the University is serious about putting an end to this beloved event. If they do, it may be at the cost of losing thousands of applications and sponsors.
Satirical writer Ethan Vassar can be reached at letters@collegian.com or online @ethan_vassar.
