Note: This article is satirical. Hi, my name is Dakota James. I enjoy rainy days, long walks on the beach and faking my death. For the last year, I have been the Hall Monitor-Herald’s vegetable beat...

Note: This article is satirical. 2,269,740 minutes. That’s how long it’s been since the Ingersoll Reckoning. Really think about that number. That’s 136,184,400 seconds. Now think about what...

Note: This article is satirical. Responding to complaints on his recent and sudden disappearance, Colorado State University President Tony Frank stated in a press conference last Tuesday that he had...

Note: This article is satirical. After learning that a bomb placed in the deep-freeze of his ice cream truck would go off if he decelerated below 10 miles an hour, Jack Bakerson has spent the past several...

After receiving their midterm project back from their LIFE 102 professor, several freshman were dismayed to discover that they had accidentally created a grotesque, Cronenbergian biological nightmare. “Yeah,...

In a recent press conference, CSU President Tony Frank announced to the public that he still can’t explain all of the bikes that somehow wound up in his house. Frank’s wife, Fran Frank, estimates...

Earlier this week, Cameron Theodore Ramsworth — otherwise known as Cam the Ram to the easily amused denizens of Fort Collins — was finally granted his freedom from Colorado State University after successfully...

After months of attempting to get back into the journaling business, we here at The Hall Monitor-Herald are pleased to announce our triumphant return to hard-hitting news. We spent three months in exile,...

After almost a month of build-up, we here at How ‘Bout Them Lemons finally went on our adventure to the Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse to confront Dr. Supercomputer about the ransom note he slid under our...

Last Week On the How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter After receiving a threatening ransom note from the Supercomputer locked away in the abandoned Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse, the team of lemonade salesmen/business/man-children...

A Quick Thank You: We here at the How ‘Bout Them Lemons Lemonade Stand Newsletter would like to thank our loyal readers for sticking with us through, even after that disastrous tour of the glue factory....