The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian

The Hall Monitor-Herald graduates Earth

The Hall May 8, 2015

Note: This article is satirical. It's natural to feel anxiety over graduating, and so it should come as no surprise that we here at The Hall Monitor-Herald were shocked when we realized graduation was...

What happened when I got the Necronomicon and dug up myself

What happened when I got the Necronomicon and dug up myself

The Hall April 30, 2015

Note: This article is satirical. Hi, my name is Dakota James. I enjoy rainy days, long walks on the beach and faking my death. For the last year, I have been the Hall Monitor-Herald’s vegetable beat...

It’s time to have a frank discussion about birthday parties

It’s time to have a frank discussion about birthday parties

The Hall April 24, 2015

Note: This article is satirical. 2,269,740 minutes. That’s how long it’s been since the Ingersoll Reckoning. Really think about that number. That’s 136,184,400 seconds. Now think about what...

Tony Frank tormented by poltergeist

Tony Frank tormented by poltergeist

The Hall April 17, 2015

Note: This article is satirical. Responding to complaints on his recent and sudden disappearance, Colorado State University President Tony Frank stated in a press conference last Tuesday that he had...

Terrorized ice cream man unclear what movie this is just like

Terrorized ice cream man unclear what movie this is just like

The Hall April 9, 2015

Note: This article is satirical. After learning that a bomb placed in the deep-freeze of his ice cream truck would go off if he decelerated below 10 miles an hour, Jack Bakerson has spent the past several...

LIFE 102 students accidentally birth horror

LIFE 102 students accidentally birth horror

The Hall April 3, 2015

After receiving their midterm project back from their LIFE 102 professor, several freshman were dismayed to discover that they had accidentally created a grotesque, Cronenbergian biological nightmare. “Yeah,...

Tony Frank still can’t explain all of the bikes in his house

Tony Frank still can’t explain all of the bikes in his house

The Hall March 27, 2015

In a recent press conference, CSU President Tony Frank announced to the public that he still can’t explain all of the bikes that somehow wound up in his house. Frank’s wife, Fran Frank, estimates...

Cam the Ram granted freedom after successful boxer-raid

Cam the Ram granted freedom after successful boxer-raid

The Hall March 12, 2015

Earlier this week, Cameron Theodore Ramsworth — otherwise known as Cam the Ram to the easily amused denizens of Fort Collins — was finally granted his freedom from Colorado State University after successfully...

The Hall Monitor-Herald gives up lemonade, success

The Hall Monitor-Herald gives up lemonade, success

The Hall March 6, 2015

After months of attempting to get back into the journaling business, we here at The Hall Monitor-Herald are pleased to announce our triumphant return to hard-hitting news. We spent three months in exile,...

How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter: The confrontation at Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse

How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter: The confrontation at Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse

The Hall February 27, 2015

After almost a month of build-up, we here at How ‘Bout Them Lemons finally went on our adventure to the Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse to confront Dr. Supercomputer about the ransom note he slid under our...

How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter: The life and times of Dr. Supercomputer

How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter: The life and times of Dr. Supercomputer

The Hall February 19, 2015

Last Week On the How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter After receiving a threatening ransom note from the Supercomputer locked away in the abandoned Ol’ Horsetooth Lighthouse, the team of lemonade salesmen/business/man-children...

hbtl lemons

How ‘Bout Them Lemons Newsletter: We finally move plot along

The Hall February 13, 2015

A Quick Thank You: We here at the How ‘Bout Them Lemons Lemonade Stand Newsletter would like to thank our loyal readers for sticking with us through, even after that disastrous tour of the glue factory....

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