The Rocky Mountain Collegian

Seriously: Sad local man finds happiness commenting on Collegian articles

Ethan Vassar • March 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Socialism is extremely offensive to introverts

Ethan Vassar • February 24, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Top 4 laziest ways to celebrate Black History Month

Ethan Vassar • February 18, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Coronavirus’s impact on Fort Collins

Ethan Vassar • February 10, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: No, we don’t live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Ethan Vassar • January 22, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Ethan Vassar • December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Seriously: Avoid using the term ‘snowman’ this holiday season

Ethan Vassar • December 9, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Seriously: If you own a gun, you are a pathetic coward

Ethan Vassar • November 14, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. There...

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Ethan Vassar • November 11, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s...

Seriously: Professors expect too much, accommodate too little

Ethan Vassar • November 4, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...