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The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
The Student News Site of Colorado State University

The Rocky Mountain Collegian
(Photo Illustration by Matt Tackett | The Collegian)

Seriously: Sad local man finds happiness commenting on Collegian articles

Ethan Vassar • March 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Socialism is extremely offensive to introverts

Seriously: Socialism is extremely offensive to introverts

Ethan Vassar • February 24, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

(Photo via Tommy Brown, U.S. Air Force)

Seriously: Top 4 laziest ways to celebrate Black History Month

Ethan Vassar • February 18, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Coronaviruss impact on Fort Collins

Seriously: Coronavirus’s impact on Fort Collins

Ethan Vassar • February 10, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: No, we dont live in a society

Seriously: No, we don’t live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Seriously: Yes, we do live in a society

Ethan Vassar • February 3, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Seriously: Local incel calls for white history month in January

Ethan Vassar • January 22, 2020

Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s...

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Seriously: Mrs. Claus should be delivering gifts this year

Ethan Vassar • December 16, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

A snowman stands by the Lory Student Center on Thursday afternoon. Several inches of snow fell on Thursday afternoon, and temperatures are predicted to stay in the low 40s for Friday. (Forrest Czarnecki | Collegian)

Seriously: Avoid using the term ‘snowman’ this holiday season

Ethan Vassar • December 9, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

Gun drawing (Courtesy of Pixabay)

Seriously: If you own a gun, you are a pathetic coward

Ethan Vassar • November 14, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. There...

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Seriously: You failed No Nut November, what now?

Ethan Vassar • November 11, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s...

UNC Professor of Psychology Doug Woody talks to students about contemporary racial discrimination in the Clark Building April 11. Woody discussed a variety of issues such as diversity, microaggressions, and historical discrimination while engaging with CSU students. (Ryan Schmidt | Collegian)

Seriously: Professors expect too much, accommodate too little

Ethan Vassar • November 4, 2019

Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editor’s notes are subject to being offended. FORT...

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