Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
From the dawn of time, humans have tried to answer the question: Do we live in a society? From ancient philosophers like Aristotle and Plato to modern day savants like Jaden Smith and Papa John, this question has captivated great minds.
To suggest that we do not live in a society is to render thousands of years of human thought and interaction meaningless and fruitless. It’s utterly preposterous to suggest that we don’t live in a society, and even the mere suggestion of such a doleful belief should be enough to have one fired from their job and mocked incessantly.
The phrase “We live in a society” is often associated with the Batman villain the Joker, although he has never said the phrase in any medium. The origin of the phrase is almost as perplexing as the question of society, but its roots help provide an answer.
The Joker, a twisted man in clown makeup who harbors a hatred for society, was created because of his treatment by society — the very society that we live in today.
In the 2019 film, the titular character of “Joker” experiences many aspects of society we all hate — teenagers, public transit, stairs, a sh*tty boss, annoying late-night television hosts — en route to becoming the ultimate middle finger to the society that created him. In the final act of the film, the Joker says the word society, which is a subtle reference to the society we live in today.
Society today is more than just an aggregated group of people who share similar goals, values and experiences living together in an ordered community that tells us a lot about society.”
The “Joker” film barely scratches the surface of all the reasons why we live in a society. If one went back in time — to before the birth of Jesus, before the Roman Empire put a tax on pee, even before humans tamed wolves and started breeding the small, crazily overaggressive ones called chihuahuas — and told early man what they would create by getting together to hunt and live, they all would undoubtedly cease their activities because the concept of a society is so horrific.
The effects of society are all around us. That girl you like who just blocked you on all forms of social media after you sent her several threatening messages when she ignored your unsolicited dick pic? Society. The reason why you’re holding back tears in a public restroom for fear that someone in there will hear you? Society. The reason why Jeffrey Epstein’s death was covered up and fabricated to look like a suicide? Society.
These effects of society in turn tell us a lot about it — society can tell us a lot about society. Society today is more than just an aggregated group of people who share similar goals, values and experiences living together in an ordered community that tells us a lot about society. This fact really highlights the cyclical nature of the society we live in.
The only escape from society is death, but even when we die, we die in a society. As one can expect, this says a lot about society. The simple fact that we live in one is inescapable, and thus there is no other conclusion that can be drawn from the society that we live in other than we live in a society.
Satirical writer Ethan Vassar can be reached at email@example.com or on Twitter @ethan_vassar.