It’s a new age for dating culture where every right-swipe opens new doors filled with possibilities.
Meeting someone in person has almost been replaced by easy, quick and fun connections with strangers facilitated by Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Grindr and other dating apps.
Of course, these apps aren’t exclusively for hookups. On Bumble, users are able to specify whether they want someone casual, are unsure or are looking for a relationship. With this being said, it is hard to deny the contribution these apps have to hookup culture.
“You never really know why girls are using the app,” political science student Sam Shea said. “They might be using it to boost their self-esteem, pass the time while mindlessly swiping or they might actually be interested in a relationship, whether it be short or long-term.”
With the help of dating apps and direct messaging, hookups are possible without virtually any work being done. In this time of flirty prosperity, however, there are unspoken rules to follow and mistakes to watch out for.
After matching with someone, which is the first challenge to overcome, you now have to send the first message. In the realm of dating apps, there’s a multitude of approaches you can take.
Holly Lamansky, a communication studies student, said humor is a great way to start off.
“I think the best way to slide into the DMs is with a funny picture, meme or gif,” Lamansky said. “I think it’s tacky and cheesy to use pickup lines unless they’re something I’ve never heard before.”
I would rather someone ask me questions about myself to get to know me instead of trying to boost my ego with a pickup line they probably looked up on the internet about how beautiful they think I am.” Samantha Jones, interior architecture and design student
The first message can be a hit or miss. You can get creative and take a risk or play it safe, but either way, remain confident. There’s no turning back after the message has been sent.
“In order to determine whether or not someone is actually using the app for the purpose of pursuing someone, it’s important to send an appropriate pick up line that involves a date or a fun night,” Shea said. “You can usually determine what their intentions are from the response.”
Ask your match about the story behind a picture or reference something they said in their bio. Sharing what you do for work, what you like or what you study can open up the conversation as well. If you’re really stuck and out of ideas, use the first message suggestions that the app gives you.
“I would rather someone ask me questions about myself to get to know me instead of trying to boost my ego with a pickup line they probably looked up on the internet about how beautiful they think I am,” interior architecture and design student Samantha Jones said.
If you want your matches to engage in a conversation with you, you have to give them something to work with. This is where your bio comes into play. Writing your bio can be a double-edged sword. You want to encapsulate who you are as a person, but you don’t want to scare people away. The goal is to be yourself without overdoing it.
“I look for a funny bio and one that I don’t see every day,” Lamansky said. “It is easier to swipe right on someone who catches my sense of humor rather than my eye. Also, it makes it more appealing if you don’t show your abs in your pictures.”
Reference other bios to help create one that is unique to your personality. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but only one you. Also, everyone watches and frequently quotes “The Office.” It’s not special, nor is it a personality trait.
“When it comes down to it, every girl is unique,” Shae said. “But the more you use Tinder, the more you realize that this is just a numbers game more than anything else. Personally, I could care less because I am open to anything, just going with the flow.”
More information on how to message people on Tinder can be found here.
Steps on how to block people on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Grindr.
Lyra Wiley can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @lyra_wiley.