Editor’s note: This is a satire piece from the Collegians opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not like reading editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
FORT COLLINS–Parent-teacher conferences are starting at Colorado State University after fall break. This year, the conferences will be more important to attend than ever, according to President Tony Frank.
Parents and guardians are highly encouraged to sign up to meet their student’s professors, because it is mandatory. The conferences will give parents a chance to see how their students are doing with attendance, grades, participation, and behavior.
One change that will be implemented this year is that students will no longer have to attend conferences with their parents. CSU President Tony Frank said he doesn’t think students should have to go if they don’t want to.
“At this point, they are in college and can choose for themselves if they want to go to conferences with their parents,” Frank said. “They’re not little kids anymore.”
Parents should be aware that if their child is in a large lecture hall class, the professor might not be able find time to see them until next semester. Lily Andrews, who teaches music appreciation, said she looks forward to meeting all of her students’ lovely parents.
“I can’t guarantee I will know which student is which, b cause I have so many,” Andrews said. “I literally have never seen half of these people in my life, so.”
Inez Rominoz, an international student studying engineering, is unsure if her parents will be able to make it.
“I am kind of upset that they are doing this to international students.” Rominoz said. “Russia isn’t that far.”
Students can sign up via Ramweb, or parents and guardians can call and make an appointment starting Friday.
Satire writer Ty Betts can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or online @tybetts9