Get into a fight at the football game. Honoring our school and its traditions is a powerful thing. I understand that we want to show off our pride and tell Nevada who is boss. We can do that. But, let’s not let pride turn into a bloodbath. The custodians do not want to clean up brains at the football stadium, even if they are the other team’s. Plus, let us be honest: Nevada players are not an enemy to be vanquished, like a video game. They are just another team trying to honor their traditions too. Radical idea: Let us welcome them to Fort Collins and show them that Rams are classy.
Try too hard to reconnect with people. Homecoming should be a time to reconnect. Do not get me wrong. Maybe that person you had a crush on
is there. Maybe you are looking to reconnect with your best friend. But, sometimes trying to relive the glory days can be absolute disaster. It is called Homecoming, not Home-crushing.
Get drunk. Again, Homecoming should be a time of celebration. Have a beer. Keep it in perspective. Puking in a garbage can is not the route to go. You do not want to be pulled over by a cop the minute you sneak out of the stadium holding your beer high like a trophy. On top of that, the ghosts of Colorado State students past will hunt you down like a duck.
Flirt obnoxiously. News flash. Flirting brazenly does not make you Mister or Miss Cool. It just makes you look like an utter buffoon. I am sure that is not you, my fellow Rams. Plus, if you think you are pulling off the flirt with perfect aplomb, the opposite is probably true. People are coming to have fun, not to be gawked at.
Getting rude because of traffic issues. Being a jackass is not going to get you anywhere faster. So seriously, do not flip the bird. Do not throw things at people during the parade. A thumbs up sign or a shout of support would be a good thing, if you are so inclined. If you are too grumpy, then turn on the radio. Reflect on your week. Heaven forbid, take a different route.
Going hand in hand with the last item, do not run over people. Just because we are paying tribute to our history does not mean we get to turn people into history.
Wear the other team’s jersey or a jersey from some random other college. Poking the bear is funny. But, tensions are going to be high. Do not give someone a reason to turn you into ground hamburger.
Make fun of skits or performances. This is just a lighthearted fun time for the CSU community. But, people still put their time and creativity into the shows. When someone puts themselves out there, you do not throw rocks at them. If you want to criticize shows, go become a movie critic. It is fun and you get to be a douchebag, albeit a polite one. Check your douche-o-meter at the door during Homecoming.
Pranks. There is a child in us all. We all need to release our energy. But whether it is pranking the other team’s mascot, or TPing people’s houses for the fun of it, do not do it. Channel this the right way. Root for the Rams. March in the parade. March with your own stride if you like. Shake your groove thing up and down the Oval.
Play with fire. Your parents must have told you this. But don’t. Do not ignite fireworks wherever you want. That is why there is a bonfire. Come together with your fellow Rams and get rowdy without burning someone in the process. Let us bear a torch, but a torch for the next generation…not a funeral torch for a jackass.
Collegian reporter Mir-Yashar Seyedbagheri can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. His Twitter handle is @dudesosad