Editors note: This is a satire piece from the Collegians opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not like reading editors notes are subject to being offended.
FORT COLLINS– Following the season finale of Game of Thrones, a Denver man who claims that Game of Thrones is, “just okay” was discovered.
26-year-old Andrew Christov claims he watches Game of Thrones, but occasionally will fall asleep during an episode.
“Yea I enjoy it,” Christov said. “I check in on it occasionally.”
Christov has a full subscription to HBO and works from home; an ideal setup for any Game of Thrones viewer. Christov isn’t your typical fan. He has only watched a handful of episodes from each season and skips around on pure whim.
The most troubling part is that Christov has a complete lack of caution when it comes to spoilers.
“I don’t mind people talking about episodes I haven’t seen yet,” Christov said. “I figure I’ll find out sooner or later.”
Psychologist Bradley Simmons believes Christov’s mindset is unconventional to say the least.
“Christov’s mind is failing to recognize the magnitude of what is going on inside this television series. Untreated, he could start to drift farther and farther away from reality,” Simmons said.
Christov’s friends and family never knew how detached Christov was. His mother, Anna, said she always assumed her son was more involved.
“I think back to all those times talking about Game of Thrones with my son and all I can think is, how did I not see his indifference before,” Anna said.
Christov is seeking help and has moved back in with his mother.
“I’m gonna be here for him now. I’m gonna make Game of Thrones a bigger part of his life,” Anna said.
Satire writer Ty Betts can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or online @tybetts9.