With The Rocky Mountain Showdown quickly approaching, CSU pride is progressively becoming infectious across campus, which is causing students to become aggressively pumped about the CSU vs. CU rivalry. With tensions running high at the game, students from both schools will not be shy about tossing around a few insults. While the usual go to is the “F*CK CU” chant, here is an alternative list of insults to throw in a buff’s way written by a girl with the mind of an eight year old:
1. “The Buff”
If anyone decides to come at you sideways during the game saying something about how Rams are weak, simply say, “Yeah? Well at least we actually are buff!” This insult works best if you flex your muscles or pretend to drop an invisible microphone.
2. “Cut It” For some reason, a lot of Boulder kids are convinced that the only reason CSU students go to CSU is because they didn’t get in to CU. In reality, a lot of CSU students were accepted to CU. They just decided not to go there, or a lot of the times couldn’t afford to go because CU is notorious for not giving out financial aid. If a buff tries to diss you this way, simply start singing O.T. Genasis’s “Cut It” and replace the word “price” with “tuition.” If you dance too, not only will this confuse the buff, but they will also become stunned upon being reminded just how much student debt they inevitably will be in.
3. “We Got In.” This is the another good response to a buff’s accusation that CSU students couldn’t get in to CU. If someone tries to throw that kind of shade, reply, “I did get in, I just knew CSU was better. I’m surprised you got in though, because Rams actually know more numbers than four and 20.”
4. “Sko?” No one can ever explain to me where this word came from or why it’s used. Every time someone yells this, you can always remind them that it is not a word and sounds dumb, or you can loudly announce to the person next to you, “Wow! You would think that with all the money their paying to go to school they would know how to spell the word go correctly.”
5. “South Park.” It’s always good to remind the buffs that South Park is on our side. There is literally an episode where the characters use the term “dirty hippies” and feature a car with a CU bumper sticker on it.
6. “Deceased Cam.”
Last year, on the day of The Rocky Mountain Showdown, our beloved Cam the Ram (R.I.P.) died tragically of natural causes. Buffs held up offensive signs during the game poking fun at this loss, and it is likely they will stoop to this level again. If a Boulder hippy tries to refer back to this, look them straight in the eye and say, “Cam may have died for our sins, but Ralphies have died for our burgers.” Then mime yourself taking a giant bite out of a buff burger while maintaining eye contact.
7. “My G.P.A.”
This is another diss that you can use if a Boulder hippy decides to question CSU students’ education and intellect. If a CSU student starts up this kind of conversation, remind them, “At least my G.P.A. is as high as you are.” Feel free to drop another invisible imaginary microphone, and maybe have a bunch of your friends jump around and scream “OOOOH” behind you.
8. “We Got Emojis.”
If you happen to be friends with a CU student and have their phone number, instead of sending them nasty words, just spam them by sending a bunch of ram emojis (there’s two to choose from) and remind them that there is not a buffalo emoji to retaliate with. Better yet, make them apart of a group chat with a bunch of your most persistent CSU friends and send them emoji after emoji after emoji.
9. “Just Look at Us.”
For some reason, CU buffs tend to run out of ideas for disses and start making things up. A common thing shouted during game day is that the girls that attend CSU are not attractive, which is just silly. If a CU student gives up and uses this approach, if you are a CSU lady, simply point at your face. This alone will prove them wrong and make them feel dumb for even suggesting that that would be true.