Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect the view or opinions represented by the Collegian Editorial Board.
Happy April Fool’s day! If you’re like anyone on our staff, the day can tend to sneak up on you and you’ll find yourself unprepared with a good practical joke.
But, don’t worry dedicated reader, Seriously has some seriously good ideas for you.
1.Tell your new boyfriend that you’re not pregnant when you really are.
How funny is this? He will be relieved that your new relationship won’t have to deal with the emotional turmoil of unplanned pregnancy, when really, it will! How funny? Don’t worry men, you can do this joke too! Get someone outside of the relationship pregnant and tell your partner they have nothing to worry about (wink wink).
2. Leave an unidentified corpse in your roommate’s bed.
Okay, this one is bound to make some memories. Look for a dead body and leave it wherever your roommate sleeps while they are at class or work. When your roommate finds the shape on their bed they might think there is a live person on their bed, but ha! Joke’s on them, the body is actively decomposing.
3. Egg your own house.
This is a great little joke for those of us who crave being cruel pranksters, but don’t hate anyone more than we hate ourselves. A self-deprecator’s dream – this joke is cheap and you won’t have to travel far!
4. Poison your best friend’s cat.
You’ll be dead laughing and the cat will actually be dead. If you can, don’t tell your friend you did it. Just laugh ominously while your friend is in shock and later, in tears.
5. Put a little cocaine in your professor’s coffee.
Not sure how to appropriately play a joke on your favorite teacher? Navigating professional and respectful relationships can be difficult, but this little prank will certainly break the ice. Although pricier than our other practical jokes, this one is sure to please and will be enjoyed by your entire class. (Note: if you suspect your professor is addicted to coke this joke may not be that entertaining, consider replacing with other drugs.)
Whatever you do, have fun with it! Don’t miss they year’s opportunity to be the sneaky trouble-maker you always wanted to be.
Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.