Spring is here! With all this crazy switching from sunny days to snow storms, its hard to properly dress for the occasion. Here at Seriously we’ve compiled all the must-haves for this season.
- A keyboard.
Wear this so you can play melodic tunes of spring.
2. A sweet spring dress made entirely out of meat products.
If you’re a woman, which you should be if you’re reading this because if you’re a man you absolutely have something better to be doing with your time, it means that you have dating on your mind. You know that all of your self-worth should derive from whether you’ve managed to catch yourself a man, this dress if fool-proof.
3. A bird on your shoulder.
Find a blue-bird and place it on your shoulder. Then train is to whistle sweet harmonies with you.
4. Bedazzled ass-less chaps.
This is a sexy date-night number. It especially comes in handy when you’re not sure how to be attractive and lady-like.
5. A coconut bra.
Here in Fort Collins you may be short on coconuts so feel free to instead use your empty ice-cream cartons.
6. A mask made out of flowers.
For when you’re going for a mysterious and enticing look but also celebrating spring.
7. Left-over Easter eggs for earrings.
Just because Easter is over doesn’t mean your love of colored eggs is.
8. An artsy mug super-glued to your hand.
Trying to be hip but not sure how to pull it off? If you glue a mug to your hand, you’ll be committed to being just a little bit cooler for at least a month.
9. A quilt made out of all your mid-term papers.
10. An AK-47. Suns out, guns out.
This look is for when you want to look dangerous and in control. You should probably pair it with lacy lingerie to maintain your femininity. With this closet, you’ll know it’s spring no matter what the temperature is. Rock your new digs ladies.
Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.