Students are absolutely thrilled to have the chance to go to parties on a Sunday.
“The Super Bowl is so fun, it presents a really unique opportunity to drink and hang out with friends on a Sunday,” said sophomore philosophy major Daniela Markus. “Most Sundays, I just do my homework and get to bed at nine, so it’ll be a pretty fun change from the usual.”
Super Bowl 50 is said to be particularly exciting for Colorado students because this year, the Denver Broncos are supposed to be playing.
As opposed to last year, when they just kind of whimpered and rolled over.
One enthusiastic student opted to share his perspective on the complicated and intricate game ahead with Seriously.
“Peyton Manning, he’s old, but he’s good,” said freshman economics major Sam Lopez. “Go Broncos.”
Fort Collins Police are aware that the Super Bowl has the potential to over-excite people. That’s why on Thursday they issued out an e-mail warning students of the dangers of getting too rowdy.
“These kids are always douchebags on Sundays,” said an anonymous member of the police. “I just hope they’re not extra douchey during the Super Bowl. Win or lose people always end up tipping cars and stuff.”
The officer moved his head side to side slowly.
Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at firstname.lastname@example.org.