Lorelai and Rory are back for more antics in a “Gilmore Girls” series revival on Netflix. The revival will be in the form of a mini-series, with four episodes each lasting 90 minutes. The episodes will take place during a calendar year, with one episode for each season. What follows is a list of what I hope to see and what I fear to see in this glorious reunion.
Jess and Rory:
While Logan seemed like a good fit for Rory on paper, Jess and Rory shared a passion for paper. Their mutual love of the written word made their relationship the most aw-able in the show.
While Dean was the Star’s Hollow match for Rory and Logan was grandparent’s favorite, the matured Jess is the culmination of the two.
He matches the essential Rory. Jess also appears to have matured past his annoying boyish flaws, unlike Logan and his sometimes sloppy Vegas trips and Dean’s well… being Dean.
Plus, I don’t think anyone would complain if we got to see once again the fabulous presence that abandoned the show long ago: Jess’s hair.
Just to clarify, we’re talking about Human Kirk and not Cat Kirk. Kirk’s wedding to the adorable Lulu would provide a wonderful opportunity for all sorts of Kirk-related antics which were a constant, hilarious heartbeat to the show.
It seems only appropriate to provide some closure for the bizarre and endearing character that is Kirk. If there is a wedding in the new series we expect it to violate all sorts of Taylor’s ordinances and be pretty much the most adorable—while at the same time uncomfortable— matrimony television has seen.
Even if Kirk is strange, we at least know he can support a new wife, given he has every obscure job in the town and at least a fourth of a million stored up.
Luke and Lorelai:
Because it’s the point of the whole dang thing! I mean, finally! Get married under that beautiful hand-carved hoopa and live happily ever after already! Oy with the poodles already here, am I right?
April. The frizzy-haired, overly-perky annoyingly optimistic inconvenience for Luke and Lorelai’s love story. April ranks among the most random and unpleasant TV occurrences that has ever been my misfortune to encounter.
She bears zero resemblance to the simple, small-town diner owner who supposedly fathered her. And can I suggest that maybe she made a mistake in her child’s science fair project and incorrectly identified the source of half her chromosomes?
April-centered episodes felt like a test of my mental and emotional resilience. Go to New Mexico, work for Area 51 or NASA, and please just be happy and far away from my wonderful TV show world. Thank you.
The odd scarves and Lorelai’s ponytail:
The new series is supposed to take place in the present, eight years after the final episode occurred. This is good for many reasons but mainly because it ensures we won’t witness two unfortunate relics from the early 2000s: odd scarves and Lorelai’s ponytail.
These scarves weren’t even scarves. Thin bands of oddly colored fabric tightly wrapped once around the neck and left to dangle down a person’s front is more like it. Why were they so long? Why were so thin?
I can’t come to a conclusion about how they could be remotely practical or fashionable, even with all my knowledge and experience, and endless nights of lying awake, wondering at how these so called objects of clothing could exist.
And the slicked back ponytail, it looked so militaristic. So strict with its slicked, gelled demeanor. There is no joy in this ponytail, there is only confusion.
Luckily, the times have changed. Let the Gilmore hair reach its full potential in these last shining moments of the series. And let’s avoid objects of clothing that more resemble stray party streamers or invitations for playful cats.
Collegian Rachel Fountain can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @rachelcfountain.