I’m not one for making assumptions, but you’re probably freaking out. And I only say that because I am too. I am str8 up freaking out, y’all. Finals are next week and everyday seems more and more fleeting. If you haven’t already calculated the lowest score you need to pass, then it’s time to snap out of your current Netflix bender and return back to the real world. Rejoin all your very real problems and cry all your very real tears. Last minute papers, quizzes and groveling to your TA can only get you so far before you must come to terms with the cold, hard fact that this year is coming to a close. And honestly, good riddance to it.
Many of us have reached that time of the year where we channel our inner Britney Spears circa 2007, in all her crazed and shaved glory. Constantly on the brink of a breakdown, it’s becoming hard to walk the through the plaza without wanting to snap on some unsuspecting tour group. You want to warn them. You want them to understand that growing up is nothing like literally every single Zac Efron movie makes it seem.
But, just like how Britney was able to bounce back and have a semi-successful show at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino, we too, will rise above.
Hopefully, this has been a year of growth. A year of strengthening your moral character, a year of figuring out who you really are. I’m pretty proud of the choices I have made this year, knowing full and well how much more still needs to be done. At this point in my life, I guess you could say I’m half-baked. Mostly because I have been eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked non-stop because I refuse to cook real meals and I had a coupon. But, we should be happy to know we made it this far, against whatever odds we all faced this year. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I mean, finals haven’t even happened yet and I’m already closing the chapter on this year’s book. I can’t help but feel a bit sentimental and also extremely exhausted thinking about this past academic year.
There were good moments, bad moments and a whole lot of in-betweens. You see, life is a series of in-betweens. In between young and old, between love and loss, between moments and memories. So whether you are in between who you were and who you are striving to be, or maybe just in between seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, I hope you get wherever you’re going. Also someone really needs to stop Shonda Rhimes. My heart can not physically handle anymore pain.
In terms of last minute finals prep – don’t worry my petite garden flowers, I’ve got you.
Here’s what you need to do to get through these next two weeks: Make a study plan and stick to it. Study for as long and as honestly as you can. Read each paragraph in that textbook with gusto. Soak in all the words. Implant them in your memory. Highlight important in-class notes and ask any last minute questions. Make some comprehensive notecards. Create a study group with friends from your class, preferably with the smartest ones you can find. Then, when you feel like you have exhausted your mind, take a step back. Stand up. Walk outside. Get in your car. Drive to the airport. Get on a plane. Never look back. You’re finals can’t get you if you’re in Istanbul.
And, there you have it. The best way to deal with your problems is to run away. If someone tells you otherwise, stop talking to them because you do not need that kind of negativity in your life. But in all seriousness, good luck everyone. Follow all your dreams and chase your inner fire. Unless that inner fire is heart burn. Get that checked out.
Collegian Columnist and Humorist Kendall McElhaney can be found studying/crying in the History Department, because no one is ever there. She can be reached at email@example.com, or on Twitter @kendallaftrdark.