You guys, Hillary Clinton is running for president. Sure, this was a declaration that was more or less inevitable from the moment that Barack Obama won his re-election bid in 2012, but now it is official.
So, as part of our stupid long election cycle, we now have a year and six months of campaigning to look forward to. A year and a freaking half! Hillary is now a part of a race that won’t have a truly meaningful event for six months, which means that we are in for some truly in depth, insightful, and not-at-all ridiculous press coverage of Hillary’s campaign.
Oh, no, wait, we’re in for shallow, horse racing, completely ridiculous coverage of Mrs. Clinton. It’s already begun. BuzzFeed has made sure to publish at least one article a week about Mrs. Clinton’s campaign, and what they lack in actual content they more than make up for in breathless anticipation: Look at the slow rollout of her campaign! How marvelous!
BuzzFeed is not the only outlet, or even the worst, at covering the campaign. When Hillary’s campaign released its logo, the internet broke in a way not seen since Kim Kardashian showed the world her butt. There are thousand word columns (plural) about the significance of her logo, and how Hillary has already committed a grave tactical error with the logo design, a fact these columns assure me that is sure to haunt her in November of 2016.
But wait, there’s more! Footage recently leaked of the former secretary of state ordering Chipotle in Ohio. I know, it’s monumental stuff. But just wait, the plot is about to thicken. Apparently, Mrs. Clinton was in disguise when she ordered Chipotle, and even worse, she didn’t tip the employees.
So the seers in the media came out and read these signs and divined from them several crucial interpretations. First, the incident highlighted how Hillary is out of touch with the common man (that’s from the Wall Street Journal). Second, the incident proved Hillary is going all out for that Latino vote in 2016 (Yes, that’s a scorching take from Fox News). All of this over a lunch!
Get used to this nonsense from now to November 2016. Hillary has the potential to make history as the first female president and has always been a controversial and polarizing figure. This is a potent combination, and one almost guaranteed to bring in page views, despite the fact that there is nothing important happening.
The shallowness of this sort of coverage and the sheer amount of it are also likely to obscure the serious questions about Hillary’s campaign. Anyone remember the fact that Hillary has troubling issues with transparency, like when she deleted more than thirty thousand State Department emails? It was only about a month ago, but it might as well have been six and half years ago at this point.
The coverage of Hillary Clinton’s campaign is out of control, and you’d better buckle up, because it is going to be a very long ride indeed.
Collegian Columnist Jesse Carey believes fervently in dinosaurs and has a podcast, just like your grandmother, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @Junotbend.