During these chilly months, many sicknesses are arising. Bodily fluids are leaking out of everyone’s orifices. Students are a disgusting mess, but still walk around campus like lethargic zombies.
Sadly, this is college and we must power through.
Getting sick in elementary school generally meant staying home. And, even though I was vomming into a mop bucket, at least I was watching the Disney Channel instead not failing another satanic math test.
Getting sick in college is a little different. First of all, I cannot stay home. Actual responsibilities such as my job, school and, of course, hanging out with friends, keep me away from home.
Plus, most professors require a doctor’s note. What a waste of my time to wait a week for an appointment, when I will probably have already suffered through the worst of my mucus-filled days. I also do not feel like walking to the doctor’s office when I have the option of laying on my couch.
Lucky for me, my illness lasted about a month, as I am sure many do.
At first it was just, “Ouch, I’m slightly sore and there’s some mild compression in my head.”
That expanded to, “Holy profanities, it feels like Freddy is stabbing my spine and my head might explode.”
At that point, the doctor’s office definitely felt out of the way.
Of course, it came during the week of most busy-ness. The type of week where I arrived out of breath to various things, because I packed my schedule full. I also breathed heavier, because I am dramatic and want to make myself believe every second of my time is being used intentionally, even though I look at Instagram for 30 minutes at a time.
My method for curing my illness becomes curling up into a corner, weeping softly and only lifting my head to hiss at people who stare too long. My crying face frightens them off.
From there, I buy some generic-brand cold and flu medicine to take semi-regularly, mainly because I am not enough of an adult to actually take it regularly. Every other morning (maybe), I throw it back, pretending to be tough even though I and most normal people are totally grossed out by that “cherry” flavor.
Since I refuse to stay home, my friends are all sick with me soon enough, which is super adorable. A real bonding experience. Sick together, stick together, am I right?
No, I am far from right. My sickly friends are cranky, and they do not want to hang out with me, which makes me feel insecure.
There is also no guarantee that they have what I have, and what if we both caught each other’s stuff and were doubley sick? Sounds like bad news.
Being sick in college is a challenge for only the toughest of Spartans.
I hear you all sniffling and coughing around me and 1.) Gross. Could you please be a little quieter? 2.) Godspeed, my sick Ramily.
This cold and flu season will pass, and soon it will be summer once more.
Collegian A&E Columnist Cassie Maack can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @maackcl.