Many have seen the various hashtags on Instagram dedicated to specific pictures on specific days, giving many a reason to post an old picture or every couple picture they have ever taken. Although it is pleasant to know that one’s significant other is, indeed, their crush on any given day, the weekly reminder becomes mundane, and I believe social media needs new, refreshing user creativity.
Mondays are tough, show Instagram why. Share pictures of how you messed up. A broken coffee mug, crashing into a parked car or getting chased by bike cops are all wonderful photo opportunities. Imagine a new Monday filled with car dents and whatever else was screwed up in the sleepy Monday haze, instead of boyfriends and Ryan Gosling. What a brave new world.
It only seems appropriate that on this day, we all join together and wear top hats and, of course, share it via the interweb. If the hat is a decent height, it probably won’t fit in a selfies-sized frame. This requires the terrifying task of asking a fellow human to take said photo. I can think of no better opportunity to finally speak to that semester-long crush of yours. Not only will you engage brief conversation with them, but they will likely be turned on by your top hat and ask you to join them in eating won-ton soup. You’re welcome in advance for the stellar love advice.
Hump Day is often mildly disorienting. You may be halfway done, but the coffee addiction is peaking and your anger is likely misdirected at the household pet. In that state of confusion, share the weirdest thing you see with your followers. Something that is so bizarre, it is almost impossible to explain. If someone is pushing a pet hedgehog in a stroller or dangling female products on a stick, allow followers to bask in the spectacle as well.
Probably not what you initially think it means, unless you thought the name meant sharing the art of dance. Utilize Instagram video capabilities to throwdown your best dance move. Talented dancing is superb, but horrid, straight-backed krumping is pure gold. Before you shrug it off, just think: would you rather see horrid dancing or some random picture taken a few months back?
This day shall be given over to horrible candid photos. Catching people mid blink, or in the exact moment where their chin angles lower and their neck arches slightly back allowing six chins to emerge. Those can finally be dug out of the depths of your photo gallery. These have to be unprecedented, unplanned and likely unwanted by the subject. Uggo internet photos tend be a sensitive topic to many, but fret not, my dear friend, everyone is laughing at you, but nobody loves you any less.
I do not want to deprive Instagram of its food, and sandwiches happen to be a pretty jolly treat. Now, it is encouraged that users put more effort into this than taking a picture of their Subway sandwich. Make a delicacy Joey Tribbiani would be proud of.
That’s right! No days for couples and a day dedicated to you, singles. Congratulations, you can show the world how horribly lonely you are. I am 99.9 percent sure the internet has an infinite amount of space allotted for cats, so keep posting. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
If the monotony of #wcw, #transformationtuesday, or #tbt is irksome to thou, I encourage you to be the change. If not, keep doing your thing. You do you, baby.
Collegian A&E Writer Cassie Maack can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @maackcl.