As the weather grows colder, the leaves fall and the holidays approach, many love-starved college students have one thing on their mind: finding someone to share the season with. Students scour Tinder and Yik Yak for a cuddle buddy to watch every last grotesque season of “American Horror Story” with them in under a month. Everyone beware, because cuffing season is upon us.
Urban Dictionary defines “cuffing season” as the time during “fall and winter months [when] people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship.”
Let’s be clear, these months are distinctly different than those reckless summer months where one could grab a bite to eat by oneself. Colder months require two people to share blankets, drink hot cocoa out of the same straw and wear matching Christmas sweaters that jingle when you walk.
Not only will you get colder without someone exhaling their warm, pumpkin-spiced breath down your neck every second, but going home for the holidays will only end in concern from the rest of your family. No one wants Aunt Francis asking them why their single. It’d be much easier to walk in and show Aunt Francis the nice arm candy you acquired while you were away at college.
Many seasonal activities require a partner. For example:
- Studying at a coffee shop
- Going to the pumpkin patch
- Stomping on leaves
- Making a Thanksgiving casserole
- Ice skating
- Snowball fights
- Knitting scarves
- Buying a Christmas puppy
Remember, summer season is selfie season. But now, winter is coming and no one wants to see you standing in the middle of a field holding a pumpkin by yourself. That’s embarrassing. The only selfie you should be posting is of your significant other every Monday or Wednesday.
And, if you’re too classy for that selfie life, keep in mind; you have single friends for a reason. Have that friend take pictures of you in all of your couple-y glory on the Oval, the Quad and Horsetooth. I mean, what are third wheels for anyway?
What makes everyone so sentimental this time of year? Maybe it is the thanking and giving during the holidays that makes one want to have their own bae.
It’s comforting to have someone. There’s nothing quite like a mid-day text saying, “hey gurl want watch me play Madden l8ter?” The support of having someone to lean against while you both play on your phone and watch Rob Dyrdek do whatever Rob Dyrdek does, is really something special. It’s all about that one decent person and doing everything you can to make them feel loved.
So, to those looking to wife-’em-up, or husband-’em-up or temporarily-kind-of-date/cuddle-someone-without-serious-commitment: best of luck. I hope you find someone the makes cuffing season all you ever dreamed it could be. I raise a hot, apple cider toast to you and your search for the perfect fall/winter companion.
Collegian A&E Writer Cassie Maack can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @maackcl.