The recent renovations on Eddy have many students wondering what could possibly be going on. The campus is already ridden with constant construction, depriving students of any sense of normalcy. When brought up, many feel it is ridiculous and, often, people “can’t even.” Whatever the reaction, the resounding question amongst the population of Colorado State University students is “why?” What could they be doing to the dearest and most beloved Eddy?
Well, we may not know for sure, but we certainly have some ideas for what they should be doing.
1. Nap room
Individual stalls will be implemented completed with piles of pillows and blankets for mid-day, between-class naps. Full days are difficult sometimes and I’m tired of napping on the ground or curling up on an awkward chair in the Morgan Library. No PDA allowed. That’s not what this is for. Go to sleep.
2. Red Box and a TV Room
What better way to spend an awkward two-hour break between classes? One could go to the library and study (a.k.a. Facebook stalk), or you could check out Beyoncé’s concert DVD and find new motivation to complete the day. Who run the world? Eddy renovations. #flawless
3. Carnival games
Every time you attend a class, you can play three games in the carnival room for the chance to win tickets. Tickets can be used at the prize booth if you want an over-sized doll or cashed in at the book store. Oh, they can also be used to pay off bike tickets. God help those who travel west on the one-way street by the intramural fields.
4. Snack Room
Free food. I don’t feel like one, or two, or seven cookies is ridiculous request, but it is often difficult to come by. Eddy understands how much you already pay and offers snacks as a small compensation.
5. Wall of Chargers (phone, laptop, etc.)
A dead phone or laptop is a heart-dropping feeling when you have an entire day ahead. Luckily, Eddy will have an entire wall of chargers for your convenience. Dead phone? No problem.
Dogs will be walked around the building during finals and midterms as emotional help animals. Nothing brightens a day quite like a big brown-eyed pooch who just wants to cuddle.
7. Bouncy castle room
Adulthood has taken away enough of our childhood innocence. Bouncy castles, while not fully making up for that, are a good start.
8. Sobbing room
School is difficult. Mornings are difficult. Finals are difficult. Waking up is difficult. Let it out. Everyone needs a good cry now and then in a judgment-free zone.
9. Another nap room
With the addition of the Sobbing Room, extra naps will be needed. Crying is exhausting.
10. Majestic Statues
Eddy will ultimately be the most marvelous building you have ever seen. Full, Romanesque fountains, large statues, and a majestic bust of Tony Frank’s beard will pull everything together and make the Eddy renovations worth while.
The New Eddy. This is our wish.
Collegian A&E Writer Cassie Maack can be reached at email@example.com or on Twitter @maackcl.