The annual Rocky Mountain Showdown is so much more than a college football game.
It is an epic faceoff between two opposing forces, at an NFL stadium, in the Mile High City. That being said, Rams ought to dress accordingly and support their Showdown in style.
Here is a guide on how to accessorize appropriately for this veritable state school Super Bowl, accessible through any Party City.
1. Glitter hairspray
Whether you are male or female, pick up a can of glitter hairspray before game day. Seriously, everything is more exciting with glitter hairspray. If ever there was an occasion to warrant wearing glitter hairspray to a football game, the Showdown would be that occasion.
2. Temporary tattoos
Wear your ram’s head with pride, under your eye, like war paint. Wherever you go after the game, no one will doubt whose side you were on and, regardless of the outcome, you will have had a better time at the game than other fans would have had watching it tattoo-less.
As a Ram fan, it is your duty to be a cheerleader, even when you are not down on the field. Anybody can cheer loudly. But once you cheer loudly and aggressively, while shaking green and gold pompoms, the Buffs are sure to realize the error of their ways.
4. Freshman shirt
Who knows? The “Fight Song” printed on the back of that T-shirt you got from Orientation could help a fellow Ram behind you in the stands who does not know the lyrics well enough yet to sing along with the marching band.
Wear it as is, or cut it up and show CU which school is sexier.
5. Cowbells and air horns
Drown out the black and gold side of the arena with the celebratory noisemakers of your choosing and prove, once and for all, which team should earn the wildest cheers.
6. Nail polish
Go that extra mile and paint your fingernails green and gold.
Remember to bejewel your clothing with – you guessed it – green and gold studs.
8. Body paint
Gentlemen, get together with some buddies and go topless, alternating full-body green and gold or spelling out “GO RAMS” (or something more creative).
9. Cardboard cutouts
Represent CSU by writing out something as simple as a sign, or printing out something as extravagant as a head-shaped picture of Tony Frank’s face – just, please, for the sake of everybody else, keep the beard jokes to yourself.
10. And most importantly…
…Whatever you do, please avoid the color yellow. That would be like the Pope getting an upside down cross tattooed on his face.
Leave no doubt who you are representing in the Buffs’ minds when they heckle you in the parking lot. CSU is about so much more than midterms and finals. It is about pride, it is about tradition, it is about celebration, and it is about what it truly means to be a Ram.
Fight, fight, fight, go Rams!